YO SOMETIMES YOU MOVE B. I DONT THINK I KNOW ANYONE THAT LIVED IN ONE APARTMENT/HOUSE/CABIN/CONDO/BOX THEY WHOLE LIFE. THE SHIT IS, WHEN YOU MOVE, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYBODY AND IF YOU AN OUTSIDE NIGGA IT'S HARD TO ADJUST AND MAKE FRIENDS (THAT SOUNDS WILD CORNY BUT THATS BASICALLY WHAT YOU TRYNA DO). SO IMA GIVE YALL SOME POINTERS ON WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU MOVE INTO A NEW HOOD.
1) DON'T JUST GO UP TO NIGGAS AND TRY TO SHAKE HANDS ON SOME OBAMA SHIT. YOU AIN'T OBAMA. YOU LOOKIN LIKE A SNITCH RIGHT NOW IF WE ALL STANDIN HERE SMOKIN A BLUNT AND YOU JUMP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CYPH WITH YA LIL GIRLY MOUTH MAD EXCITED LIKE YOU ABOUT TO START POP LOCKIN. STOP THAT. IF YOU DO THIS YOU FUCKED UP AND ITS IRREVERSIBLE SO JUST STAY IN YOUR CRIB AND PLAY CRASH BANDICOOT NIGGA CUZ YOU CAN'T COME OUTSIDE NO MORE.
2) APPROACH NIGGAS WHEN THEY AINT DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL AND INTRODUCE YASELF, NOT IN A CORNY WAY LIKE ITS A JOB INTERVIEW, IN A SMOOTH WAY LIKE "YO WHATS SHAKIN B? I JUST MOVED IN TO 600, YOU NIGGAS SMOKIN?/DRINKIN?/WHATEVERIN?" PRODUCE A BLUNT, PRODUCE A BOTTLE OF PAUL MASSON OR SUMTHIN. MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL. IF YOU'RE A NERD NIGGA DON'T TRY THIS APPROACH, MATTERFACT IF YOU'RE A NERD JUST STAY IN THE HOUSE CUZ CHILLIN WITH A BUNCH OF DEGENERATE HOODLUMS OUTSIDE IS PROLLY NOT YOUR SPEED AND NIGGAS WILL CUT ASS ON YOU LIKE YOU PRECIOUS WALKIN UP THE BLOCK EATIN A SNACK BOX
3)DON'T COME OUT DOLO, BRING SOME OF YOUR DUDES FROM YOUR OLD HOOD IF POSSIBLE. START YOUR OWN SHIT WHERE YOU PLAN ON CHILLIN AND NIGGAS WILL GRAVITATE TOWARDS YOU PAUSE. IM SAYIN IF YOU WANNA MAKE FRIENDS IN A NON KINDERGARTEN WAY THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO WALK UP TO NIGGAS AND BE LIKE "HI IM JOHNNY!! WANNA PLAY CATCH?" YOU WILL GET JUMPED IMMEJUTLY. OR LAUGHED TO PIECES WHICH IS WORSE SOMETIMES. SHAME LASTS FOREVER MY G.
4) DON'T COME OUT LOOKIN CRAZY MY NIGGA, IF YOU COME OUT LOOKIN LIKE RAINBOW EYELASH ASHTON KUTCHER DRESSED AS SHOCK G DRESSED AS HUMPTY THEN NIGGAS WILL SHUN YOUR WHOLE FACIAL SLIME. DON'T COME OUT LOOKIN LIKE FUCKIN TREY SONGZ IN CONCERT WIT MAD CHAPSTICK ON EITHER NIGGA, RELAX, DON'T TRY TO BE THE SHINIEST NIGGA OUT YOU'RE JUST TRYNA CHILL YOU NOT TRYNA FUCK ONE OF THESE GUYS...AND IF YOU'RE A FEMALE AND YOU ARE TRYNA FUCK ONE OF THESE GUYS THEN YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO READ ANY OF THIS YOU JUST NEED TO SHOW UP AND SAY YOUR NAME. NOT EVEN IN A SENTENCE, JUST WALK UP TO A GROUP OF NIGGAS AND BE LIKE "JESSICA"...AND YOU'RE IN.
5) FEMALES HATE OTHER FEMALES WHEN THEY'RE BOTH ALPHA FEMALES. THERE'S ALWAYS SEVERAL BETA BITCHES AND ONE ALPHA BITCH. THE BETA BITCH IS THE ONE WITH THE LEAST AMMOUNT OF REAL HAIR THAT DON'T SAY MUCH UNLESS IT'S AN AFFIRMATIVE TO THE ALPHA BITCH. SO EVALUATE YASELF, IF YOU AN ALPHA BITCH JUST HANG OUT WITH DUDES CUZ IF YOU TRY TO STEAL ANOTHER ALPHA BITCHES BETA CLIQUE THEN IT'S GONNA BE PROBLEMS...AND YOU'RE GONNA BE "THE NEW BITCH THAT NIGGAS RAN A TRAIN ON AT JONJON'S PARTY THAT BITCH IS A SMUT I HEARD SHE GOT 2 RETARDED BABIES WITH NO EYELIDS AND HER BABY DADDY IS IN JAIL FOR MOLESTING HER PARAKEET AND WEARIN PANTYHOSES WHILE HE DRIVE THE BUS ETC ETC ETC MAD OTHER FUCKED UP SHIT." IF YOU A BETA BITCH LOCATE AN ALPHA BITCH AND COMPLIMENT HER SHOES. BINGO.
6) UNLESS YOU GOIN FROM URBAN TO SUBURBAN THERE'S NO NEED TO BRAG ABOUT YOUR OLD HOOD MY G. LIKE NORE SAID "BEEN TO YOUR HOOD, NIGGAS AIN'T THAT GANGSTA, YALL NIGGAS OVERRATED" WHICH BASICALLY APPLIES TO EVERYWHERE UBRAN-URBAN...UNLESS YOU JUST MOVED HERE FROM A MINEFIELD IN THE WEST BANK OR BOSNIA OR SOME SHIT WHERE NIGGAS EAT BABY HEADS AND DRINK CAMEL PISS CUZ THERE'S NO WATER. IF YOU GOIN FROM SUBURBAN TO URBAN BRAGGIN ABOUT YOUR OLD HOOD WILL GET YOU AT LEAST LAUGHED AT AND AT MOST HUNG OFF A FIRE ESCAPE LIKE A DOMINICAN FLAG IN THE HEIGHTS.
GOOD LUCK BRASI.
