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WHATS SHAKIN? I WAS DRINKIN MY CAFE CON LECHE WHEN I OPENED THIS UP AND IT DIDN'T MAKE ME LAUGH TILL I LOOKED AT THE FLICK THEN I GOT BUSTELO UP MY NOSE...LOOK AT THIS NIGGA LOOKIN LIKE DUSTY BAKER WIT A GOATEE ON JUICE. SHOUTOUT TO MY NIGGA DIVERSE THOUGH"mero just wanted to know what you thought about this bishop eddie long shit... is he gay? did the nigga molest those dudes? dude never even denied it today at church, he just said he's going to "fight back"..."
THIS NIGGA IS A BISHOP/PRIEST/REVEREND/WHATEVER? NIGGA LOOKS LIKE A RETIRED CORNERBACK. YOU SURE THAT NIGGA AIN'T A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL COACH? I AUTOMATICALLY THINK NIGGAS IN CHURCHES ARE PEDOPHILES B. I MEAN, IDK ABOUT ALOTTA CHURCH SHIT BUT AIN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO NOT GET PUSSY? LIKE ON SOME G SHIT GOD WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DARE TO GET PUSSY OR EVEN HAVE A GIRL SIT ON YOUR FACIAL...AND IF YOU ALLOWED TO GET PUSSY, THIS NIGGA SHOULDA GOT OD PUSSY CUZ HE'S FUCKIN RICH. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PUSSY RICH NIGGAS GET? UDD PUSSY. THAT'S WHAT KINDA MAKES ME THINK THIS NIGGA DIDN'T DO IT EVEN IF HE WAS GAY, MAD GAY NIGGAS WOULD BE ON HIS DICK CUZ HE'S RICH. ALSO, THE LIL NIGGA THAT ALLEGEDLY GOT HIS BOOTYHOLE TICKLED GOT SOME WEAK EVIDENCE, HIS LAWYER WAS LIKE "LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! HE HAS A PICTURE IN WORKOUT CLOTHES! HE IS CLEARLY GAY! AND A PEDOPHILE! WHO ELSE TAKES PICTURES LIKE THIS?"...UHH EVERY FEMALE IN THE WORLD AND A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF DUDES, THATS WHO. NOW WHAT DOES MAKE ME THINK THIS NIGGA IS ON THE DL LIKE HUGHLEY WIFE IS THAT HIS MAIN SHIT IS "GAYS ARE EVIL" AND NIGGA DOES RALLIES AND MARCHES AND SHIT LIKE HE'S MAD CONCERNED ABOUT NIGGAS 69ING IN THE PRIVACY OF THEY OWN HOME. THATS SUSPECT. I TOLD NIGGAS BEFORE WHY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GAY NIGGAS DOIN THEM? THATS LIKE GIVIN A FUCK ABOUT FRENCH NIGGAS EATIN SNAIL DICKS. ITS WHAT THEY DO NIGGA, YOU DO YOU. I'M TORN B, I'M WAITIN FOR THE TEXT MESSAGE TO COME OUT WHERE THIS NIGGA IS LIKE "HEY YOUNG BROTHA, PLZ COME TO MY RM SO I CAN BLO U PLZ XD"
YO SO THE DRUG TUTORIAL SHIT WAS WAY TOO LONG FOR ONE POST B SO I BROKE IT UP INTO 2 CUZ I KNOW YALL NIGGAS DON'T GOT ATTENTION SPANS AND I DON'T EITHER.I DID COKE AND SHROOMS AND THEN I REALIZED I WAS RUNNIN OUTTA DRUGS I KNEW ABOUT (I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY FAM I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HUFFIN GLUE OR METH OR "WHIPPITS" WHATEVER THE FUCK THOSE IS.) SO I INCLUDED A "WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HIGH" AND SOME COCKTAIL (PAUSE) SUGGESTIONS. COKE - I KINDA COMPARED COKE TO XANAX BEFORE CUZ IT GIVES YOU THAT SUPERMAN FEELING LIKE "NIGGA FUCK YOU IM THE MAN SUCK MY DICK OFFICER" WHICH IS DANGEROUS IF YOU A MINORITY. THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT XANAX MAKES YOU A SLURRING HUMAN WORM THAT JUST WANTS TO EAT AND CONVINCE NIGGAS THAT YOU HAVE THE BEST IDEAS EVER LIKE FOR EXAMPLE GOIN TO IHOP RIGHT NOW...COKE TURNS YOU INTO AN ANNOYING HUMAN HUMMINGBIRD THAT JUST WANTS TO DO MORE COKE AND CONVINCE NIGGAS YOU HAVE THE BEST IDEAS EVER LIKE FOR EXAMPLE GETTIN MORE COKE AND STARTING A WEB BASED PET GROOMING BUSINESS WHERE YOU GIVE DOGS MOHAWKS ("LIKE IN WAYNE'S WORLD! MEMBER THE DOG HAD A MOHAWK? WE'LL BE RICH!"). ON COKE YOU'LL FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE MAD IMPORTANT IDEAS AND YOUR SWAG IS ON A MILLION WHEN IN REALITY YOU GOT THE COKE DRIP AND YOU KEEP SNIFFLING AND YOUR JAW IS SWINGIN AROUND LIKE THE SHIT GOT BALL BEARINGS IN IT AND YOUR "IMPORTANT IDEA" IS YOUR BLOG WHERE YOU MAKE FUN OF CURRENT EVENTS AND GIVE NIGGAS ADVICE...WAIT...ANYWAY, THE GOOD PART ABOUT THAT IS THAT COKEHEADS COME IN BUNCHES SO IF YOU'RE ON COKE YOUR FRIENDS ARE SO THEY'RE RIDIN WITH YOU AND TELLING YOU ABOUT HOW THEY GONNA REVOLUTIONIZE THE CLOTHING INDUSTRY WITH THESE REALLY OFFICIAL TSHIRTS... THE SHIT JUST TURNS INTO THE ILL CIRCLE JERK OF THE BEST IDEAS...SHIT IS LIKE EBAY FOR ASPIRATIONS. IF YOUR COKE IS GOOD $40 (A LIL MORE THAN 2 GRAMS) IS ENOUGH B DON'T GO FUCKIN CRAZY AFTER A COUPLE BLASTS YOU'LL FEEL LIKE OJ THE JUICEMAN (AYE! OK!). IF YOUR COKE IS BAD YOU WON'T WANNA DO MORE THAN $60 WORTH CUZ YOU'LL BE SHITTING YOUR INTESTINES OUT THE NEXT DAY AND FEELING LIKE YOU SURVIVED GETTING EATEN AND SHITTED OUT BY A RHINOCEROSSHROOMS - YO SO LIKE I SAID IN PT1 ALOTTA DRUGS YOU DO TO IMPROVE AN ACTIVITY. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHROOMS ARE FOR. YOU EAT A COUPLE CAPS WAIT A LIL WHILE THEN WALK THROUGH A PARK. IF YOU DONT SEE PURPLE LASERS AND FLYING RABBITS AND THE FUNNIEST SHIT IN THE WORLD THEN I'LL STOP EATING PLATANOS. GO TO THE SUPERMARKET WITH SOME FRIENDS AND LAUGH AT HOW THE CARROTS LOOK LIKE OLD LADIES WITH ROLLERSKATES ON, EAT ICE CREAM, GO TO A BASEBALL GAME. AS FAR AS I KNOW THERE AIN'T NO NEXT DAY DEATH FEELING WITH THIS SHIT. THE ONLY FUCKED UP THING IS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHEN YOU'RE GONNA NOT BE HIGH ANYMORE AND TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF NOT HIGH IS FUCKIN TERRIFYING. IF YOU EVER WENT HOME AND TRIED TO FALL ASLEEP ON THESE SHITS YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT. THIS IS WHEN SHROOMS ARE THE WORST CUZ YOU START SAYING SHIT TO YOURSELF LIKE "YOU NOT HIGH ANYMORE NIGGA STOP FORCIN IT" THEN YOU LOOK DOWN AT YOUR DICK WHEN YOU'RE TAKIN A PISS AND IT SCARES THE SHIT OUTTA YOU CUZ IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. THEN YOU BACK TO SQUARE ONE AND YOU HEAR BIRDS CHIRPING EVEN THOUGH ITS 2AM. SO IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE HIGH ANYMORE CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND STOP THINKIN ABOUT IT SON.MERO IM HIGH, NOW WHAT? - WELL IT DEPENDS ON WHAT PLANE YOU FLYIN IN B, IF YOU'RE SMOKIN WEED PLAY VIDEO GAMES OR RAP. IF YOU'RE MAD BLAZED AND FREESTYLIN A LINE LIKE "HIJACK A PLANE, SHORTY GIMME BRAIN" WILL MAKE EVERYBODY BE LIKE "OHHHHH!!!" LIKE YOU JUST KILLED IT ON FREESTLE FRIDAY, YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FUNNY YOUTUBE VIDEOS. IF YOU'RE DRUNK, FUCK SOMEBODY YOU NORMALLY WOULDN'T FUCK. IF YOU'RE COKED UP TELL SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS NEW SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE YOU'RE WORKIN ON JUST MAKE SURE THAT SOMEBODY AIN'T ME, OR YOU COULD GO ON ITUNES AND TELL YOURSELF HOW MUCH MORE TALENTED YOU ARE THAN HALF THESE NIGGAS ON HERE. IF YOU'RE ON E AND YOU'VE TAKEN E BEFORE, GO TO THE CHINESE PLACE AND GET A MASSAGE AND GET JERKED ILLZ...IT'LL BLOW YOU AWAY B, IF YOU NEVER TOOK E BEFORE DON'T EVEN DO IT TO YASELF CUZ YOU'LL HAVE A HEART ATTACK, JUST STAY HOME AND JERK OFF TILL YOU READY FOR THE MAJORS LIL NIGGA. IF YOU ON PERCS LAY IN A BEAN BAG WITH A 6PACK OF HEINENKENS AND LISTEN TO THIS ON REPEAT TILL YOU FINISH THE BEERS, THEN GET A BJ FROM A FAT GIRL (THEY DO IT BETTER). IF YOU ON XANAX GO WRITE GRAFFITI, EVEN IF YOU DON'T WRITE GRAFFITI...OR CLIMB A BILLBOARD OR DO SOME OTHER WILD SHIT LIKE IF YOU WHITE RIDE YOUR BIKE DOWN 3RD AVE AT NIGHT ON FRIDAY DRESSED AS AN IPHONE.MIXING DRUGS - YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU MIXING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE AND EVEN MORE CAREFUL WHEN YOU MIXING COKE AND XANAX, FUCK AROUND AND YOU'LL HEATH LEDGER YASELF. PERSONALLY I DON'T MIX MAD PILLS B CUZ I DON'T WANT NIGGAS TO FIND ME DEAD ON THE COUCH WIT NO PANTS ON AND SLUTINAS ON REPEAT CUZ I ATE A BUNCH OF PILLS TOGETHER AND THEN BLEW THROUGH 6 GRAMS ON SOME NICK NOLTE SHIT. MIX WEED WITH ANYTHING, I ACTUALLY RECOMMEND WEED AFTER GETTING OD DRUNK OR DOING A COREY FELDMAN AMMOUNT OF COKE. SHIT WILL HELP YOU CALM DOWN AND STOP CHEWING YOUR TEETH. WEED IS LIKE FRENCH FRIES B, SHIT GOES WITH EVERYTHING. AS FAR AS ALCOHOL I WAS GONNA PRETEND I KNEW THIS BUT I READ SOMEWHERE THAT THE BUBBLES IN BEER MAKES OTHER DRUGS DISSOLVE FASTER OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. IDK IF THAT'S TRUE BUT THAT NIGHT I ENDED UP WITH THE LOBSTER CLAW BITCH IN QUEENS IMMOBILIZED I WAS TIGHT CUZ I HAD ATE A BUNCH OF PILLS AND FELT MAD NORMAL, SO I WENT INTO A RANDOM BAR IN MIDTOWN ORDERED 3 TEQUILA SHOTS, DID THEM, AND WALKED OUT. SO I WOULD PROBABLY JUST DRINK SOME BEERS IF I WAS YOU B.
THATS BASICALLY ALL I CAN THINK OF, IF YOU THINKA SOMETHING YOU KNOW WHERE TO HOLLA AT ME @THEKIDMERO AND AXEDAKID@YAHOO.COM...IM NOT GETTIN DEEP ON THIS ONE IM JUST SAYIN ANYTHING YOU READ ON THIS BLOG I AIN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU FALLIN OFF A BILLBOARD OR CALLIN A HOOKER AND LOSIN YOUR JOB OR SOME NEXT SHIT. WE ALL ADULTS HERE. #POW
MY MAILBOX IS POPPIN AGAIN GOOD LOOKIN, KEEP SENDIN ME SHIT I BE BORED. YO ON AN UNRELATED NOTE THE LIFE LESSON PART 2 IS GONNA BE UP MONDAY FOR NIGGAS THAT NEED THAT
"How old is too old to be tryin to keep up with whatever fashion trend is hot at the moment, and just say fuck it let me just rock these dickies and and a buttun up? You know you seen those cats like 40 plus ed hardy down to the socks lookin gay as fuck. Also how old is to old to be havin braids and or a big ass can't even fit in the whip afro?" WORD THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION B CUZ MY (OUR?) GENERATION IS GETTIN TO THAT POINT B, WHERE ITS LIKE NIGGA YOU REALLY SHOULD NOT BE WEARING A 4XL JERSEY UNLESS YOU A FAT NIGGA AT A BASKETBALL GAME...ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM IF YOU BOUT TO BE 32 YOUR JEANS SHOULD NOT BE DENIM LEGGINGS...LOOKIN BACK ON IT I'D FEEL LIKE AN ILL DICKHEAD GOIN ANYWHERE DRESSED LIKE I WAS AS A YOUNGN. CUZ IM GETTIN TO THAT AGE WHERE IM DONE WITH TRENDS, MY JEANS FIT, I WEAR TSHIRTS AND POLOS AND WHEN IM GOIN SOMEWHERE FANCY THE PAUL STUART SHIT COME OUT. ONCE YOU HIT 30 YURS OL 50% OF YOUR SHIRTS SHOULD HAVE A COLLAR. NO MORE COLORFUL ASS TSHIRTS OR JERSEYS OR WEIRD SHIT. YOUR WARDROBE NEED TO GROW UP WITH YOU.
NIGGAS THATS KNOCKIN ON 30'S DOOR NEED TO START SWITCHIN GEARS BEFORE YOU BE THE BALD NIGGA WITH THE BUDWEISER BABY IN PINK AND GREEN DUNKS AND A MEDIUM PURPLE TSHIRT WITH A JOKE ON IT. THAT SHIT IS NOT POPPIN.
AS FAR AS HAIR, MY NIGGA REEM SAID IT BEST "IF YOU OVER 25 ITS TIME FOR YOUR BIG BOY HAIRCUT" NO FUNNY SHAPES OR STARS SHAVED IN YOUR WIG, NO BRAIDS, NO MOHAWKS FAUXHAWKS BLOHAWKS OR WHATEVER OTHER HAWKS THEY GOT OUT THERE NOW. GET A FUCKIN CEASAR AND CALL IT A DAY B. NIGGAS LIVING AN ADULT LIFE SHOULDN'T HAVE TIME TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SPEND 30 MINUTES "DOIN YOUR HAIR" MY GIRL DON'T EVEN SPEND THAT LONG DOIN HER HAIR AND SHE GOT LONG HAIR AND A BAGINA. NOTHIN LOOKS WORSE THAN A NIGGA WITH A RECEDING HAIRLINE AND CORNROWS, WHERE YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE AFRICAN BITCH STARTED OFF WITH SOME FAKE HAIR CUZ THE NIGGA FOREHEAD WAS LOOKIN LIKE LOW TIDE.IN A NUTSHELL, WEAR BASIC SHIT AFTER 30CUT YOUR HAIR LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN AFTER 25
YO THIS JUST CAME TO ME CUZ I SEEN SOME NIGGA PASSED OUT ON A BENCH AND HOMIE OBVIOUSLY PISSED ON HIS DELF. A REGULAR DUDE THOUGH NOT SOME HOMELESS NIGGA WHO PROBABLY PISS ON HISSELF TO STAY WARM.
NIGGAS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO DRUGS. AND THIS IS FINNA BE WAY TOO MUCH INFO FOR ONE POST.
THERES SHIT THAT I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK ON CUZ I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT...NEVER TOUCHED CRACK OR MANTECA CUZ AS ANYONE FROM THE BRONX (OR ANY BIG CITY) WITH A PARENT (JUST ONE, OR EVEN A GRANDMA) CAN TELL YOU, THERES SO MANY FIENDS EVERYWHERE STRUNG OUT ON EITHER OF THOSE THAT ITS LIKE "NIGGA WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO THAT?" EVEN THOUGH ITS QUESTIONABLE WE'RE ALL RAISED TO THINK THAT ONE HIT OF A CRACK PIPE IS GONNA MAGICALLY TURN YOU INTO A CRACKHEAD, OR STICKIN THE DEVILS DICK IN YOUR VEIN THAT ONE TIME IS GONNA TURN YOU INTO A TOOTHLESS TRANNY HOOKER WITH TRACK MARKS AND A 3 DAY OLD TURD SMUSHED BETWEEN YA CHEEKS...AND NONE OF US IS TRYNA FIND OUT IF THAT'S TRUE OR NOT. SO IMA HELP YOU NIGGAS THAT NEED LIFE COACHES OUT BY TELLIN YOU HOW TO DO DRUGS.
PT. 1 IS GONNA COVER-ALCOHOL-WEED-PILLS-DUST ILL GET TO THE OTHER SHIT LATER I CAN'T BE SITTIN HERE ALL DAY I GOT SHIT TO DO.ALCOHOL - YEAH NIGGA ALCOHOL IS A DRUG, DIDN'T THE COP COME TO YOUR JUNIOR HIGH AND TELL YOU THAT? FIRST OFF RELAX B YOU AIN'T 15 AND THE COPS AIN'T GONNA GIVE YOU A SUMMONS, YOU'RE IN A BAR SO SIP YOUR DRINKS. WHEN YOU START POUNDIN SHIT IS WHEN YOU DO THAT "PSH I AIN'T EVEN DRUNK NIGGA IM GOOD" SHIT...TILL YOU STAND UP AND GO OUTSIDE TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND START TALKING TO THE FIRST THING WITH TITS THINKIN YOUR MACKIN IT WILD HARD, SAYIN SOME BILLY DEE SHIT WHEN WHAT IS ACTUALLY COMIN OUTTA YOUR MOUTH IS "YOU WANNA COME HOMEWIH ME I GOT A BEERRRS IN MUSIC ON MY GOMPUTERS" THEN SHE WALKS AWAY AND YOU PUT THE LIT END OF THE CIGARETTE IN YOUR MOUTH LIKE "YOU TRIPPIN BITCH" AND IT BURNS YOU SO YOU DROP IT AND FALL OVER TRYNA PICK IT UP. GOOD SHIT DICKHEAD NOW YOU'RE ON 20 FACEBOOKS AND PEOPLE ARE TAGGING YOU AS "DRUNK ASSHOLE THAT FELL" SO MY RULE IS SIP YOUR DRINKS AND WHEN YOU STARTNA FEEL TIPSY SWITCH GEARS TO BEERS SO YOU DON'T MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF. ITS ALL ABOUT GETTIN NICE, WHEN YOU START DOIN THE JADAKISS LAUGH FOR NO REASON ITS TIME TO HIT THE DINER WITH SHORTY AND GET A SHORT STACK BEFORE YOU GO HOME AND SMASH (OR PASS OUT WHILE SHE TEXTS HER FRIENDS ABOUT WHAT A LAME YOU ARE). WEED - AHHH WEED, GOOD OLD WEED...WEED IS GOOD B, MY FUCKIN GRANDFATHER SMOKED WEED NIGGA IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANEUVER WITH WEED WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS? HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING? HAVE YOU EVER EVEN JERKED OFF AT WORK OR STUCK YOUR FINGER IN A GIRLS ASS? PROBABLY NOT. SMOKE AS MUCH WEED AS YOU WANT, THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN IS YOU WAKE UP AND TRY TO MAKE FRIED OREOS WITH PANCAKE MIX...THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY ABOUT WEED IS THIS, IF YOU'RE MAKING PLANS TO GO OUT TO A PARTY AT NIGHT OR A SHOW OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT AND YOU MEET UP SOMEWHERE TO "PREGAME" DO NOT INCLUDE WEED IN YOUR PREGAMING UNLESS YOU WANNA CANCEL YOUR PLANS AND STAY HOME PLAYING HALO.
PILLS - ALL PILLS ARE DIFFERENT RIGHT SO IMA BREAK IT DOWN BUT THE ONE THING THAT HOLDS TRUE FOR PILLS IS THAT UNLESS YOU BLOWIN THEM UP YOUR NASAL IT'LL TAKE A SECOND TO KICK IN. ITS NOT DUST B, YOU NOT GONNA SWALLOW A PILL AND INSTANTLY BE FLYIN. GIVE IT A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE YOU SAY "MAN FUCK THIS SHIT" AND POP ANOTHER 6, I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY AND ENDED UP LAID OUT IN MY HOMEBOYS BATHROOM IN JACKSON HEIGHTS WITH A BITCH WITH 2 FINGERS ON ONE HAND TRYNA TIP A GLASS OF WATER INTO MY MOUTH TALKIN BOUT "DRINK PAPI DRINK" WHILE IM HAVIN A PANIC ATTACK THINKIN "WHY CAN'T I MOVE MY HEAD?"...XANAX: I NEVER ATE THE BABY XANNIES, JUST THE STICKS AND LEMME TELL YOU, IF YOU DON'T EAT THESE THINGS ON A REGULAR BASIS, EAT HALF OF ONE AND FEEL IT OUT. THESE THINGS HAVE MONOSODIUM IDONTGIVEAFUCKAMATE IN THEM AND WHEN YOU'RE ON THE SHIT ITS WORSE THAN COKE CUZ YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS LEGAL AND YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. YOU ALSO THINK YOU'RE THE FUCKIN MAN WHEN IN REALITY YOUR A WORD SLURRING FOOD INHALING PIECE OF SHIT. YOU ALSO WON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE AT THE TIPPY TOP OF XANAX MOUNTAIN SO CHECK YOUR VOICEMAIL THE NEXT DAY TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T PUNCH YOUR SISTER OR RAPE SOMEBODY BY ACCIDENT. GETTING PUSSY ON XANAX IS WASSUP THOUGH, YOU'LL BE IN THE CHEEKS FOR HOURS.PERCOCET: THE SCHOOL BUS PERCS ARE $, I HAD A VELVET POUCH FULL OF THESE JOINTS AT ONE POINT AND I WAS POPPIN THEM LIKE CANDY. THEY GIVE YOU THE "IM DRUNK" FEELING WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING FULLA ALCOHOL. START WITH TWO AND THEN TAKE THEM EVERY COUPLE HOURS TO KEEP YOUR SWAG ON. THEY MAKE YOUR FACE ITCH AND MAKE BEER TASTE LIKE BEING RICH. OH SHIT THAT WAS A BAR HOLLA! IF YOU EAT ALOT OF THESE THINGS AND THEN DON'T EAT THEM YOU'RE GONNA FEEL LIKE SHIT AND YOUR BACK IS GONNA FEEL LIKE THERES A MIDGET SPEEDBAGGIN ON YOUR KIDNEYS.OXYCONTIN: THIS SHIT IS THE DEVIL AND EVERYTIME I ATE ONE I ENDED UP AT A BAR FREESTYLING OVER A TAYLOR SWIFT SONG WHILE MY HOMEBOY PUKED HIS EYEBALLS OUT HIS NOSE. DON'T EVEN EAT THESE. SELL THEM AND BUY PERCS AND WEED.ECSTASY PILL: (I SAID THAT IN AN ALBANIAN VOICE) THESE SHITS WERE PLAYED OUT AND MADE A COMEBACK. THEY MAKE BUMPING INTO A WALL FEEL LIKE LAYING IN A TUB OF MILKSHAKE WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN GETTING 32 BLOWJOBS FROM EVERY BAD BITCH YOU EVER SAW ON THE TRAIN WHILE YOU GET A FOOT MASSAGE. THE NEXT DAY YOU FEEL LIKE A DRYMOUTH SUICIDAL GARBAGE FART SO GET READY...I RECOMMEND GETTING A FEMALE TO BLOW YOU ON THIS SHIT, LADIES, GET A DUDE TO EAT YOUR BUTTHOLE OR SUMN, WHATEVER YOU INTO.THOSE ARE THE ONLY PILLS THAT MATTER, IF YOU GOT KLONOPINS OR VALIUMS OR VICODINS JUST EAT THEM AND STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.
DUST - FOR THOSE OF YOU UNFAMILIAR WITH DUST ITS LITTLE FLAKES SOAKED IN SOME EVIL CHEMICAL THAT YOU CAN EITHER SMOKE ALONE OR MIX WITH WEED. IF YOU AIN'T A DUSTHEAD YOU GOTTA JAMES BROWN THIS SHIT, HIT IT AND QUIT IT. THIS AIN'T WEED MY NIGGA HIT IT TWICE THEN RELAX. REGARDLESS DO NOT SMOKE THIS SHIT IN PUBLIC. UNLESS YOU LIKE LOSING YOUR FUCKIN MIND. ONE OF MY NIGGAS SMOKED THIS SHIT IN THE CRIB AND THEN DECIDED HE NEEDED TO GO TO THE STORE (DRIVING 7MPH THE WRONG WAY DOWN THE STREET IN THE RAIN AT 2AM) AND CAME BACK VISIBLY UPSET. SOME DRUGS YOU DO TO MAKE AN ACTIVITY MORE POPPIN...IN THIS CASE, THE DRUG IS THE ACTIVITY. DON'T TRY TO DO ANYTHING MORE COMPLICATED THAN TALK ABOUT RAP MUSIC OR JUMP ON A TRAMPOLINE. I SAT ON A ROCK BY SOME WATER FOR 5 HOURS ON THIS SHIT ONCE TILL THE TIDE CAME IN AND I GOT WET AND WAS OD CONFUSED. THEN I GOT UP AND THE WHOLE WALK HOME FELT LIKE I WAS WALKIN THROUGH 3 FT OF MUD. FOR SOME REASON POP LOCKIN ON DUST IS EXTREMELY FUNNY. TRY IT.
FOR EVERYTHING ON HERE MODERATION IS KEY, EVEN WITH WEED CUZ REALLY, YOU COULD BE OUTSIDE DOIN SHIT INSTEAD OF SITTING HOME TRYNA UP YOUR GAMERSCORE. ALSO YOU DON'T WANNA BE SOME ADDICT ASS NIGGA LOOKIN LIKE YOU WOKE UP FROM 6 NAPS ALL THE TIME MAD HURT WIT NO SHAPEUP. ENJOY YASELF DON'T DESTROY YASELF. (GOT DEEP ON YOU NIGGAS REAL QUICK POW)
YO YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST CHINKS IS THE NEW WHITE PEOPLE B. "MERO FUCK IS YOU TALKIN ABOUT CHINKS AND BLANCOS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT B HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?"...NIGGA ITS POSSIBLE, YOU KNOW WHY JAMES VAN DER BANGS IS CRYIN? BECAUSE WHITE NIGGAS JUST LOST THE ONLY SCARY NIGGA CATEGORY THEY HAD.SCARY NIGGA CATEGORIES:GANG NIGGASPSYCHO KILLERS WHO TAKE OD HOSTAGES AND CHOP NIGGAS WIGS OFFTHAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT. FOR ME ANYWAY, I'M NOT SCARED OF BIKERS (GAY SEX SLAVES ALSO WEAR LEATHER VESTS AND PANTS, THINK ABOUT IT.) OR NIGGAS WHO DO KARATE (MY LITTLE NIECE IS IN A KARATE CLASS.) OR "HARDCORE ROLLERBLADERS" (NIGGA YOU BASICALLY RUNNING AND JUMPING WITH WHEELS ON YA SHOES.) OR ANY OTHER SUBCATEGORY OTHER NIGGAS MIGHT BE INTIMIDATED BY. GANG MEMBERS ARE REALLY ONLY INTIMIDATING IN NUMBERS. I AIN'T SUPERMAN NIGGA I AIN'T FIGHTING 8 NIGGAS LIKE IM GHOSTFACE ON DUST. I'LL PASS. ANYWAY BACK TO THE POINT.THERES NO WHITE GANG MEMBERS EXCEPT FOR "ARYAN BROTHERHOOD" AND THAT SHIT DON'T EXIST TO ME CUZ I LIVE IN THE BRONX AND I NEVER BEEN TO PRISON PRISON. I ALSO THINK NIGGAS ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL MADE THOSE NIGGAS UP CUZ THEY HAD TO FILL A TIME SLOT FOR GANGLAND.SO THAT LEAVES WHITE DUDES WITH ONE SCARY CATEGORY LEFT, PSYCHO KILLERS WHICH HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN TAKEN OVER BY CHINKS. THE NIGGA WHO CHOPPED HOMIES HEAD OFF WITH A SCISSOR (A SCISSOR NIGGA!) ON A CANADA BUS? CHINK. THE VIRGINIA TECH NIGGA WHO LET OFF MORE SHOTS THAN CALL OF DUTY AND KILLED A WHOLE YEARBOOK PAGE WORTH OF NIGGAS? CHINK. THE NIGGA WHO LIKE LAST WEEK TOOK MAD HOSTAGES IN THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL AND PROLLY WOULDA DID SOME EXTRA WILD SHIT IF 5-0 DIDN'T HEADSHOT THE NIGGA? CHINKINGTON.MUTHAFUCKAS IS OUTTA CONTROL, THE NIGGA ON THE BUS ESPECIALLY. YOU GONNA DECAPITATE A NIGGA? WHY? THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD MAKE ME DECAPITATE A NIGGA I WAS SITTING NEXT TO ON A BUS WOULD BE ME FINDIN OUT HE RAPED MY LIL SISTER WHEN SHE WAS 7 OR HIM LISTENING TO THIS ON IPOD SPEAKERS. (DON'T START A RY-OTT? REALLY MY NIGGA?)...SO YEAH, YING WIANG SHIANG PING PANG DECAPITATED MONEY, WAVED THE HEAD AROUND AT PO...THEN ATE HIS EARS...ON A BUS FULL OF PEOPLE. JEFFREY DAHMER WHO? HE JUST MADE THAT NIGGA LOOK WILD CORNY. SO BASICALLY THE ONLY SCARY WHITE PEOPLE LEFT ARE BOSSES AND COPS. CUZ THE PRESIDENT BLACK NOW IDK IF YALL KNOW THAT.
