YO SO ONE OF MY FIRST POSTS WAS A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE JOINT AND NIGGAS BEEN ASKIN FOR SOMETHING IN A SIMYULAR VEIN. SO IMA SCHOOL YALL NIGGAS ON HOW TO NOT MAKE YOUR FIRST DATE WITH A BITCH/NIGGA A LAST DATE. MALES AND FEMALES CUZ IM NOT SEXIST YOU KNOW? FEMALES IS GONNA BE PT. 2 THOUGH, CANT GIVE YALL NIGGAS TOO MUCH AT ONCE B YOU MIGHT OD ON KNOWLEDGE.
OFF TOP I'M GONNA TELL YOU TAKIN A BITCH TO A BAR IS A HORRIBLE IDEA, ESPECIALLY IF YOU A NERVOUS TYPE OF DUDE. THERES A COUPLE REASONS WHY BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE IS THAT YOU FINNA GET DRUNK. THE FIRST TIME YOU CHILL WITH A BITCH YOU SHOULD NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET WILD FUCKED UP LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE CHILLIN WITH SOME OF YOUR NIGGAS. THIS BITCH IS GONNA BE DISGUSTED BY YOU CUZ YOU GONNA BE SLURRING OR SAYING SOME OUTTA CHARACTER SHIT AND JUST LOOKIN MAD SLOPPY LIKE A 13 YEAR OLD DRINKIN 4LOKO'S AND THROWIN UP AND SHIT. I'M SAYIN IF YOU THE NERVOUS TYPE YOU MIGHT WANNA GET A LITTLE BUZZ RIGHT? RELAX A LITTLE? NO! THIS IS HOW YOU GONNA FUCK YOUR WHOLE NIGHT UP. YOU GONNA BE BUZZED AND FEELIN GOOD AND YOU GONNA KEEP DRINKIN TILL YOU SOUND LIKE SYLVESTER STALLONE ON MAD XANYS AND YOU WONT EVEN REALIZE IT TILL THE NEXT MORNING WHEN YOU TEXT THE BITCH AND SHE TEXTS YOU BACK LIKE " " (THAT'S A BLANK QUOTE CUZ THE BITCH AINT GONNA TEXT YOU BACK. SHE JUST STORED YOU IN HER PHONE AS "DONT PICK UP")
MATTERFACT IM GONNA EXPAND THIS TO "DONT DO DRUGS" PERIOD CUZ NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO YOU'RE GONNA OVERDO IT. UNLESS SHORTY IS TRYIN TO GET FUCKED UP IN WHICH CASE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON A DATE? THIS BITCH IS TRYNA FUCK! STOP READIN THIS RIGHT NOW AND CALL YOUR WEEDMAN AND YOUR PILL&COKE MAN IMMEJUTLY AND DOUBLE THE USUAL.
BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY TRYIN TO GET TO KNOW A BROAD YOU NEED TO BE SOBER SO YOU CAN PICK UP ON CUES JUST IN CASE YOU WANNA MAKE IT YOUR LAST DATE. IF YOURE DRUNK & ON 9 PERCOSETS YOU PROLLY WONT NOTICE THE BITCH HAS SOME WEIRD DEALBREAKER FLAW LIKE A CRAZY DIESEL WART ON HER NECK OR A LAZY EYE OR A PENIS. YOU ALSO WONT REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION IF YOU'RE ON 3 XANAX SO RED FLAGS LIKE HER TALKIN ABOUT HER GETTIN RAPED (FOR REAL MA? ON A FIRST DATE? YOU BLOWIN MINE!) OR THAT ONE TIME SHE GOT "SOOOOO DRUNK OMG!" THAT NIGGAS RAN A TRAIN ON HER IN HER DORM ROOM WHILE HER ROOMMATE WATCHED WILL GO UNNOTICED. YOU GOTTA BE ON POINT.
DONT TAKE THE BITCH SOMEWHERE LOUD, AND DONT TAKE HER OUT TO EAT A FULL MEAL, CUZ THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE B, AND YOU DONT WANNA SET THAT PRECEDENT...WHERE THE BITCH THINKS EVERYTIME YOU GO OUT YOU ORDERING VINTAGE WINES AND EATIN BABY BELUGA DICKS FROM THAILAND AT 80 A POP. HELL NO, TAKE THAT BITCH OUT FOR A FUCKIN SNACK AND TALK TO HER FOR 30 MINUTES.
"TALK ABOUT WHAT MERO?" DONT TALK ABOUT SHIT NIGGA! LET HER TALK, SHE'LL BLOW UP HER SPOT SOON ENOUGH, AND IF SHE DOESN'T THE FIRST TIME YALL GET TOGETHER THEN YOU GOT LUCKY AND FOUND A BITCH WITH A LOW LEVEL OF "CRAZYBITCHASE" ENZYME IN HER BRAIN FLUID SYSTEM. IM NOT SAYIN SIT THERE LIKE HEATH LEDGER, YOU GOTTA SAY SOMETHIN BUT HERE'S SHIT YOU DONT TALK ABOUT.
-YOUR EX BITCH...IF SHE BRINGS IT UP JUST BE LIKE "SHIT WASNT WORKIN OUT, WE BOTH MOVED ON" NO NEED TO GET INTO DETAILS ABOUT HER JUMPIN IN YOUR CAR AND CRASHIN IT ON PURPOSE OR YOU BEATIN HER EXTENSIONS OFF CUZ SHE SLAMMED A DOOR IN YOUR FACE
-YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD/OPEN CASES...BITCHES DO NOT WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT SHIT DOG, TRUST ME, ONLY NIGGAS ARE IMPRESSED BY THAT TYPE OF NONSENSE. DUMB NIGGAS. ALSO, DONT ACT LIKE YOU GOT A PHD FROM HARVARD NIGGA, YOU WAS IN FUCKING JAIL. YOU DIDNT ACCOMPLISH SHIT.
-HEAVY SHIT...ABORTION, RAPE, RELIGION, POLITICS IN GENERAL. DONT TOUCH THIS SHIT YET B, SAVE THAT FOR WHEN YOU'RE BOTH SMOKIN MAD WEED AND LISTENING TO WHATEVER SHERM INTELLECTUAL MUSIC SHE'S INTO
TALK ABOUT REGULAR SHIT, YOUR JOB, SHIT YOU'RE WORKIN ON, AND ASK HER WHAT SHE'S WORKIN ON/DOIN IN HER LIFE. EVEN IF SHE AINT DOIN SHIT DONT ACT LIKE SHE AINT DOIN SHIT. KEEP IT LIGHT B.
ALSO I FEEL LIKE SMASHIN IS OPTIONAL, DONT BE MAD THIRSTY AND TOUCHY AND SHIT CUZ SHORTY IS GONNA THINK YOU THE ILL PERVERT. IF SHE'S BEIN AGGRESSIVE THOUGH, GO WIT THE FLOW MY NIGGA, IF YOU AINT FEELIN SHORTY AT ALL ITS COOL TO SHUT HER DOWN BUT DONT DO IT ON SOME ASSHOLE SHIT CUZ THEN WHEN YOU MEET HER HOMEGIRL AT A PARTY AND THAT BITCH IS BADDER THAN EVERY BITCH THAT WAS EVER IN YOUR FIELD OF VISION YOU GONNA BE SICK. GIRLS TIP THEY HOMEGIRLS OFF AND YOU'RE GONNA BE "THAT ASSHOLE THAT WAS AN ASSHOLE TO DANIELLE" AKA "FUCKIN DICK I FORGOT HIS NAME". YOU NOT FINNA GET NO PLAY. SO DONT DISS A BITCH UNLESS YOU ALREADY MET ALL HER FRIENDS (WHICH YOU NEVER WILL SO JUST DONT DO IT.)
IF YOU FOLLOW THIS LIKE A BIBLE YOU GOOD $ AND THATS WORD TO TORONTO.
