LOOK AT THIS NIGGA MAN...NIGGA LOOKS LIKE THE PERSONIFICATION OF A DILZ, LIKE IF I MADE A CARTOON PENIS CALLD "DICK THE COCKY PENIS" IT WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS NIGGA. I PICKED THIS SHIT RANDOMLY BUT THIS SUMS UP WHAT CLUB PROMOTERS ARE ALL ABOUT. GETTING CORNBALLS WITH TIGHT DRESS SHIRTS INTO A SHITTY PARTY WITH SOME SHITTY ORANGE WHITE GIRLS WITH HIGHLIGHTS TO BUY WATERED DOWN DRINKS AT 5084% MARKUP.
YO DONT EVER THROW A BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A NIGHTCLUB UNLESS THE OWNER IS YOUR BROTHER. NIGGAS WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER AND CALL YOU EVERY WEEKEND TO REMIND YOU ABOUT "FLY FRIDAYS" OR WHATEVER OTHER STUPID ASS ALLITERATION PARTY TITLE THEY CAN THINK OF. I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT "FLY FRIDAYS"...AND "WILD WEDNESDAYS" AND "MASSIVE MONDAYS" MUTHAFUCKA...THEY BEEN GOING ON SINCE THE WORLD TRADE BLEW UP. I KNOW!! STOP FUCKIN TEXTIN ME!! STOP FUCKIN CALLIN ME!!
NIGGAS ARE LIKE A BABYMAMA MAN, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR DJ THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE TURNED ON THE RADIO AND IS GIVING BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUTS OVER IT. NIGGA SITTIN THERE WITH AN IPOD LOOKIN ALL FAT AND SHIT WITH A FUCKIN LRG POLO SHIRT ON LIKE A FUCKIN HERB. FUCK YOU NIGGA STUN ME AND PLAY SOMETHING I HAVENT HEARD 6 TIMES TODAY ON THE RADIO IN THE FUCKIN NEXT OFFICE. MATTERFACT STUN ME AND PHYSICALLY PUT A RECORD ON SOME TURNTABLES.
FUCK YOUR PROMOTERS, HERE'S AN IDEA, DONT EVEN HAVE PROMOTERS, CUZ NIGGAS ARE ANNOYING AND THERES ONLY A TINY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO HAVE NIGGAS COMING IN EVERY WEEKEND, YOU GOTTA CATCH HORNY SINGLE DUDES WITH GOOD JOBS AND NO BILLS, IE, BORING NERDS WITH TINY COCKS. UNLESS YOU GO TO JERSEY, CUZ JERSEY PEOPLE THINK PAYING A 40 DOLLAR COVER AND BUYING 12 DOLLARS HEINEKENS IS WHAT NYC IS ALL ABOUT AND THEY LIVING THE LIFE.
FUCK OUT MY FACE B, AND FUCK THE MEXICAN NIGGA YOU GOT THROWING FLYERS IN MY FACE LIKE NINJA STARS, FUCK HIM TOO CUZ EVEN THOUGH HE'S JUST TRYIN TO MAKE SOME MONEY TO POOL TOGETHER WITH THE OTHER 27 NIGGAS IN HIS APARTMENT HE'S PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH YOUR STRATEGY. IF YOU WANT NIGGAS THAT MAKE 30K A YEAR TO GO MAX OUT THEY CREDIT CARDS TO IMPRESS SOME BITCH THAT JUST BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND (BUT IS TEXTING HER BOYFRIEND WHILE YOU POUR HER GLASS AFTER GLASS OF CHAMPY) BY BUYING 3 BOTTLES OF WHITE STAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME HOT BITCH HANDING OUT FLYERS AS OPPOSED TO A MIDGET LANDSCAPER.
HERE'S HOW YOU MAKE A "NIGHT" REALLY JUMP OFF. 2 STEPS.
1-OPEN BAR TIL 1AM
2-AT THE DOOR ASK GIRLS TO SHOW THEIR TITS, THE ONES THAT DONT ARE NOT SLUTS AND THEREFORE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN CUZ THEY AINT TRYNA FUCK. NIGGAS GO TO CLUBS TO FIND BITCHES TO FUCK, NOT TO HEAR THAT "AMAZING NEW DJ BUTFUK MIX" OR HAVE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS AND FIND TRUE LOVE.
THE SLUTS GET DRUNK CUZ ITS OPEN BAR AND AFTER 1 THE BORING NERDS WITH TINY COCKS MAX OUT THEIR CARDS BUYING TABLES AND GET LAID BECAUSE SLUTS WILL FUCK ANYONE THATS BUYING DRINKS. THEN THEY'LL GO BACK THE NEXT WEEKEND BECAUSE THEY HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME AND GOT SOME PUSSY. YOUR PARTY IS A SUCCESS AND YOU BECOME A SUPERPROMOTER AND WEAR SWEATER VESTS AND BLAZERS WITH SILK SCREENED DESIGNS ON THEM AND CUT YOUR HAIR INTO A "FAUXHAWK" AND GEL IT UP, THROW ON SOME AVIATORS AND SHRINK APROXIMATELY 17 INCHES IN HEIGHT. THEN ON YOUR WAY TO STARBUCKS TO GET A CHAI SOY LATTE I JUMP OUT A TREE AND CUT YOUR NECK OPEN WITH AN UNCLE MURDER CD.
