MERO MAILBAG 2/22 "YOU DOWN WIT O.P.P?"

HI HATERS IM BACK OFF HIATUS! I WAS TAKIN A BREAK LIL NIGGAS BUT IM BACK!




Mero,

What would you do if you were me? From time to time I end up smashing married broads, usually more than once, sometimes on a semi-regular basis. One time with this Spanish chick, the shit was popping for the better half of a year on at least weekly basis. This situation has arisen once again with a bird Ive known since '96. Should I feel bad? Im leaning towards no. The way I see it, the bitches chose me. I didn't make them want to fuck me, they were doing them and I was doing me. This time around shorty wants out of her marriage. She used to have a thing for me. I don't have feelings for any of these bitches, just trying to get my dick wet. In other words, this isn't about relationship advice. I know that keeping shit on the hush hush weighs more on her. This one does a good job of deleting texts, etc. Her man lets her go out and be back by a certain time. Hubs doesn't know me, where I live, work, etc. Is this ever a good look if done correctly?



MY NIGGA IF YOU SINGLE AND YOU TRYNA SWIM IN BAGINA THEN THIS IS THE ILL LOVELY SCENARIO. YOU BASICALLY GOT PUSSY ON DEMAND AND THERES NONE OF THE OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES OF HAVIN A GIRL LIKE HAVIN DINNER WITH HER MOM OR LISTENIN TO HER SAY WORDS IN SENTENCES THAT YOU GOTTA REMEMBER AND SHIT LIKE THAT. MARRIED BITCHES ARE A GOOD LOOK FOR THAT CUZ THEY ALREADY MARRIED SO THEY AINT TRYING TO MARRY YOU AND THEY GOT SHIT SO THEY CAN GIVE YOU SHIT. PLUS MARRIED BROADS AINT ALL IN YOUR BUSINESS...NOT TO MENTION THEY USUALLY THE FREAKIEST CUZ THEY HUSBAND IS GIVIN HER 2 HUMPS LIKE CAMELS AND THEN ROLLIN OVER AND WATCHIN TOP 10 PLAYS OF THE WEEK. MEANWHILE THIS BITCH WANNA GET HER SHIT POUNDED AND THEN LAY ON HIS CHEST TWIRLIN HIS DICK AROUND LIKE A PINWHEEL. HE DON'T DO THAT, BUT YOU DO IT SO SHE'S SUCKIN YOUR DICK RIGHT NOW IN KMART BATHROOM WHEN SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKIN FOR NEW PILLOWCASES. THIS SHIT IS GOOD $ RIGHT?



UNLESS YOU OR HER STARTS CATCHING FEELINGS, THEN ITS A WRAP, AND IF THIS BITCH LEAVES HER HUSBAND...YOU BECOME THE HUSBAND...THE SHERM NIGGA THATS BORED WITH THE PUSSY AND WOULD RATHER PLAY HALO THAN FUCK THE BITCH. WHAT I WOULD DO IS IF THIS STARTS TO HAPPEN, DONT FALL INTO IT JUST TO KEEP HITTIN IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO DROP LBOMBS TO KEEP FUCKIN THE BITCH AND YOU DONT NEED TO GO ON DATES AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT CUZ THAT JUST LEADS TO THE INEVITABLE...ALL YOUR DATES SHOULD CONSIST OF YOU OPENING THE DOOR AND HER OPENING HER MOUTH, THEN YOU PUT YOUR BEEF ON THE TEEF, YOU FEEL ME? NO DRASTIC MEASURES, YOU CAN SAVE THE WHOLE SHIT BY PUTTIN IT ON YASELF LIKE "NAH MA, I LIKE YOU ALOT, AND THAT PUSSY IS BETTER THAN A BLOWJOB MADE OUT OF WINNING LOTTO TICKETS...BUT IM NOT THE BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND TYPE, I'D DISSAPOINT YOU, IM A SCUMBAG NIGGA." THAT WAY SHE FEELS LIKE YOU LOOKIN OUT...BUT STILL FEELS LIKE THE PUSSY GOT YOU HYPE WILLIAMS. WIN WIN.



AS FAR AS THE HUSBAND...IF SHE GETS PINCHED, DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS NIGGA, DENY THE SHIT. HAVE A GIRL ON DECK AS YOUR PRETEND WIFEY. FIGHTING THIS NIGGA OR GETTING INTO BEEF WITH THIS NIGGA WILL MAKE HIS BITCH MAD AT HIM AND THEN SHE'LL COME CRYIN TO YOU AND BE ALL UP IN YOUR SITUATION LIKE BITCH WASSUP. YOU DONT WANT THAT, YOU WANNA DIAL A NUMBER AND IN 20 MINUTES BE GETTIN YOUR DICK SUCKED LISTENIN TO THIS.

MERO MAILBAG 2/8 "BMz AINT SHIT BUT AN EBT TRICK"

my mans BM is a fuckin lame... if i didnt love and respect my man so much, I woulda beeeeeeeen put my hands on this bitch..... shes pushing my buttons tho... i wanna push them back without her taking him to court 4 child support(cuz shes one of those!!!) anything i can do?




DAMN MA, NIGGAS ON MY TWITTER KNOW THE DEAL WITH BABY MOMZES, THEY TUMORS B, ITS JUST UP TO YOU WHETHER THEY MALIGNANT OR BENIGN. UNFORTUNATELY YOUR MAN IMPREGNATED A PENGUIN (A BIRD THATS NOT FLY). FORTUNATELY HE LEFT THE BITCH, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE BITCH IS GONNA BE AROUND AS LONG AS SEINFELD RERUNS BECAUSE THATS WHAT BABY MOMMAS DO B THEY HAVE AN EXPONENTIAL HALF LIFE...IF NIGGAS DROP A NUCLEAR BOMB EVERYWHERE AND DESTROY THE WHOLE EARTH THERE WOULD ONLY BE ROACHES AND BMz LEFT.


EVEN IF SHE HAS A NEW MAN SHE'LL STILL BE SUCKIN THIS NIGGA BECAUSE SHE'S A MISERABLE SLOB WITH C-SECTION SCARS AND HE'S CHILLIN WITH NO STRETCHMARKS, A NEW SHORTY, AND IN A WAY, MUCH LESS RESPONSIBILITY. THIS MAKES HER EXTREMELY ANGRY AND WHEN MOST BMz GET ANGRY THEY GO INTO TODDLER MODE AND START PRANK CALLIN AND STALKIN AND NOW WITH THE INTERNET THEY DO ALL TYPES OF WILD SHIT ON MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER. BUT WHAT IMA SAY TO YOU IS THIS, FUCK IT!!! REALLY, THIS IS A LOSE-LOSE MY NIGGA BECAUSE BOOM LOOK, IF YOU BEAT MALT LIQUOR OUT THIS BITCH SHE'LL TAKE THIS NIGGA TO COURT AND START SOME ILL DRAMA AND YALL GONNA BE GOIN BACK AND FORTH UNTIL THE SHIT IS ON WORLDSTARHIPHOP, AND IF YOU DONT SHE'LL KEEP PUSHIN YOUR BUTTONS AND INTERFERING IN YOUR LIFE.


SOMETIMES THOUGH YOU GOTTA MAKE THE BEST OUT OF A SITUATION AND OUTJUVENILE A BITCH...MEANING IF SHE PRANK CALLS YOU, PICK UP AND BE LIKE AHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU SICK NIGGA AHHHH!!!!!! YOU MAD? YOU MAAAAAAAD!!! MAD LOUD TILL SHE HANGS UP, OR DO THE OLD CHATLINE SHIT AND JUST BLOW INTO THE PHONE TILL SHE REALIZES THE SHIT IS FUN FOR YOU, NOT BOTHERSOME (EVEN IF IT IS). IF SHE COMES BY THROW A GLASS OF COLD ASS WATER IN HER GRILLATIN THEN SLAM THE DOOR IN HER FACE. SHE WONT DO SHIT. BMz TALK A GOOD GAME BUT NOBODY GOT A BMz BACK EXCEPT ANOTHER BM, SO ITS NOT LIKE THIS BITCH CAN GET YOU JUMPED OR SOMETHING...BMz ARE MAD LAZY AND SMOKE MAD NEWPORTS SO THEY CANT FIGHT OR RUN OR BE PHYSICAL AT ALL UNLESS BY PHYSICAL YOU MEAN SUCKIN DICK.


SO MY ADVICE IN A NUTSHELL IS DONT SWEAT THIS BITCH, LET HER SWEAT YOU CUZ SHE'S AT HOME WITH A BUNCHA KIDS AND SOME SAD NEXT NIGGA HEATIN UP CHEF BOYARDEE (WITH THE CAN ON THE STOVE, REAL BROKELIKE) WHILE YOU AT HOME EATIN SUSHI PLAYIN WIT YA COOCHIE. YOU ALREADY KNOW, THE BEST REVENGE IS SUCCESS!!

MERO MAILBAG 2/1 "LIVIIIIIIIING SINGOOOOOO"

MEMBER THAT SHOW? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TOOTIE B? AND THE NIGGA WITH THE BABY DREADS ALWAYS STRUCK ME AS MAD GAYISH, IS HE MO, OR BRITISH? GOOGLE THAT FOR ME. ANYWAY...



"i just finished school last year and i wana move out with a homie. what are some absolute necessities we need to have in the household excluding my xbox 360 and his fridge."




YOU NOT GIVING ME ALOTTA DETAILS 5, BUT I'LL ASSUME ITS JUST YOU AND YOUR HOMEBOY. IMA TELL YOU SOMETHING OFF TOP, ITS NOT GONNA JUST BE YOU AND YOUR HOMEBOY. EVER...IF YOU'RE 25 & UNDER (OR 30 & UNDER DEPENDING ON YOUR EDUCATIONAL/JOB STATUS) NIGGAS WILL BE SLIDIN UNDER YOUR DOOR 24/7 LIKE CHINESE FOOD MENUS. KNOCKIN ON YOUR DOOR MAD DRUNK OR MAD HIGH OR LYIN LIKE "I WAS JUST AROUND MAN, WHATS UP?" WHEN IN REALITY THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO CRASH TO SMOKE WEED AND KILL A COUPLE HOURS SO THEY WERE LIKE "YO THIS GUY IS PROBABLY HOME LETS JUST GO OVER THERE."...SHIT WILL GET ON YOUR NERVES AND YOU GOTTA DECIDE WHO'S GONNA BE "THE DICK" THAT HAS TO KICK NIGGAS OUT WHEN ITS TIME TO GO. THERE'S PROS THOUGH, IF YOUR HOMEBOY ISN'T A FUCKIN HERB WILLIAMS THEN THAT'S DOUBLE THE FEMALE INTAKE AND ALSO A WINGMAN TO ENTERTAIN THE FAT BITCH WHILE YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM WITH THE DOPE BITCH GETTIN TOP WITH THE DOOR OPEN LIKE "WUZHANNINNN!!" WITH A "MONK" RERUN PLAYIN ON THE TV. BUT YO, BACK TO THE POINT, WHICH IS "ESSENTIALS".



IMA GIVE YOU A LIST, I'LL ADD MORE IF I REMEMBER MORE BUT FOR NOW THIS IS WHAT I GOT FOR YOU LIL HOMIE.



- A BIG ASS HAMPER...IM TALKIN ABOUT BIG NIGGA, CUZ NIGGAS ARE DIRTBAGS AND WILL TAKE OFF SOCKS AND THROW THEM SHITS ON THE FLOOR AND WIPE THEY DICK WITH A WHITE TEE AFTER THEY FUCK A BITCH AND USE THAT SAME WHITE TEE TO WIPE DOWN THE COUNTER THEN THROW THAT SHIT IN A CORNER...HAVE A BIG ASS HAMPER SO NIGGAS DONT DO THIS. TRUST ME B, BITCHES DON'T WANNA SEE A WHITE TEE WITH SMEGMA AND KETCHUP SITTIN NEXT TO THE COUCH. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SMELLS LIKE 5? THE SHIT SMELLS LIKE WHEN YOU PEED ON YASELF IN KINDYGARDEN AND DIDNT WANNA TELL NOBODY CUZ YOU WAS ON A CLASS TRIP SO YOU WRAPPED YOUR SWEATER AROUND YOUR WAIST AND ROCKED LIKE THAT THE WHOLE DAY THEN YOU GOT HOME AND HID IT CUZ YOU AINT WANT YOUR POPS TO KNOW YOU DID PP ON YASELF.



- A BIG ASS TV...IF YOU DON'T SPLURGE ON NOTHING ELSE SPLURGE ON THIS B. A BIG ASS TV IS MAD CRUCIAL MY NIGGA CUZ WHEN NIGGAS ARE OVER (AND THEY'LL BE OVER) YOU DON'T WANT 20 NIGGAS CROWDED AROUND A TV THE SIZE OF A NIKE BOX. THAT SHIT IS MAD UNCOMFORTABLE AND LEADS TO FIGHTS AND SHIT B TRUST ME.



- A VACUUM...YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS TO SWEEP UP BLUNT ASHES AND CIGGARETTE BUTTS AND BOTTLE CAPS AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT? ESPECIALLY IF YOU GOT A RUG. YOU NEED A VACUUM MY NIGGA, A HEAVY DUTY ONE THAT CAN SUCK SHIT UP NO HOMO AND NOT EXPLODE, CUZ YOU'LL BE VACUUMING UP SHIT YOU SHOULDN'T.



-A BIG ASS BROWN AREA RUG TO PUT UNDER WHEREVER THE DRINKIN/SMOKIN/NONSENSE IS GONNA BE HAPPENING...YOU GONNA SPILL MAD AMOUNTS OF SHIT MY MAN, TRUST ME, BEERS, ASHTRAYS, BEERS BEING USED AS ASHTRAYS, FOOD, VAGINA FLUIDS, AND MAD OTHER SHIT. A BROWN RUG ENSURES THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOP TO KEEP THE FLOOR FROM GETTIN STICKY AND NASTY, AND SINCE ITS BROWN EVEN IF YOUR ROOMMATES GIRL COME THROUGH MAD DRUNK AND TAKES THE ILL BEER SHIT ON THE RUG YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIND THAT SHIT IF YOU HAD A STUFFY NOSE. JUST DON'T WALK BAREFOOT/IN SOCKS ON THE SHIT CUZ THEN YOUR GUESTS WILL KNOW YOU'RE A DIRTY NIGGA. WHEN IT GETS TOO CRAZY STEAM CLEAN THE SHIT AND START OVER.



-A STRIPPER/PRO THAT RENTS A ROOM SOMEWHERE AND HATES IT...I WAS SHARING AN APT WITH ONE OF MY NIGGAS AND WE HAD A BITCH WHO WOULD COME THROUGH AND CLEAN AND ORGANIZE THE CRIB JUST TO HAVE A PLACE TO KICK IT WITH NIGGAS. SHORTY WOULD COME THROUGH, CLEAN THE WHOLE CRIB AFTER WE TURNED THE SHIT INTO PORT AU PRINCE AND JUST HANG AROUND BEING A FEMALE. ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE A BITCH AROUND B, JUST BEING THERE, THEY LIKE SCENTED CANDLES MY NIGGA, MAD SOOTHING AND SOMETIMES THEY SAY DUMB SHIT THAT YALL CAN LAUGH ABOUT AFTER SHE LEAVES. (NOTE: THIS IS IF SHE'S COOL, IF SHE'S A BITCH THEN FUCK THE DOOR SHOW THAT BITCH THE INCINERATOR CHUTE.)



-BITCHES IN GENERAL...LIKE I SAID YO ITS GOOD TO HAVE BITCHES AROUND, EVEN IF THEY NOT HOOKERS. THEY DO STUFF LIKE MAKE FOOD AND GIVE TOP, THEY ALSO BREAK UP THE MONOTONY OF HAVING A BUNCH OF DICKS IN A ROOM TALKIN SHIT. IF YOU GOT BITCHES ON DECK HAVE THEM COME TO YOUR CRIB MY G, REGULARLY, IF THEY ENJOY THEYSELF THEN THAT'S GOOD FOR THEM AND GREAT FOR YOU CUZ THEY'LL BRING FRIENDS AND IF THE ORIGINAL FEMALE AINT FUCKIN YOU I BET ONE OF HER FRIENDS WILL. ALSO FEMALES ARE GOOD TO HAVE AROUND IF YOU WANNA KICK NIGGAS OUT YOU CAN PRETEND LIKE YOU BOUT TO SMASH AND NEED TO SMASH ON THE COUCH CUZ YOUR ROOMMATE SPILLED OLIVE OIL ON YOUR MATTRESS.



-A BONG...IF YOU NIGGAS ARE SMOKIN WEED YOU NEED THIS B, I KNOW BONGS ARE MAD WHITEBOY COLLEGE STATUS BUT NIGGAS DON'T ALWAYS WANNA GO TO THE STORE FOR DUTCHES B, AND SOMETIMES NIGGAS COME THROUGH WITH LARGE AMMOUNTS OF SOME "EHH" WEED WHERE A DUTCH IS POINTLESS. SO YOU GONNA NEED THAT BONG FOR THE SHIT TO HIT YOUR CHEST PAUSE.



THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW MY NIGGA, ALL THIS SHIT I JUST PUT UP IS "MUST HAVE DO OR DIE", IF YOU MISS EVEN ONE OF THOSE THINGS THE CHAIN REACTION COULD BE FATAL AND LEAVE YOU SANS PUSSY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (IN THAT CRIB)...IF ANY OF YALL NIGGAS SEE ANYTHING I MISSED, THERES COMMENTS RIGHT DOWN THERE v HOLLA AT THE KID!!!