MERO MAILBAG 5/11 - "DADDY DAY CARE"

I really like your relationship outlook and advice. So I have been seeing this guy for a few months. A few years older than me and has a 13 year old and a 4 year old. Listen I'm 23 and I still smoke weed and catch tags, I'm not exactly the model of responsibility. But I really like this guy and he wants me to meet his kids. What do you think?


WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MA, I TOLD MY OTHER HOMEGIRL THE OTHER DAY (AND I APOLOGIZE TO NIGGAS WITH KIDS FOR THIS COCKBLOCK ALTHOUGH I'M NOT REALLY CB'IN YOU'LL SEE LATER) YOU SHOULD NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH A NIGGA WITH KIDS (THAT HE SEES AND CARES ABOUT).


GETTIN TOGETHER WITH A NIGGA WITH KIDS IS LIKE BUYING A HOUSE WITH SOMEONE THAT ALREADY OWNS A HOUSE. YEAH NO DOUBT THEY GOIN IN ON THE HOUSE WITH YOU BUT REALLY THEY AIN'T 100% FOCUSED ON Y'ALL HOUSE CUZ THEY GOT THEY OTHER HOUSE TO WORRY ABOUT. SAME SHIT...IF THIS NIGGA HAS KIDS BY ANOTHER BITCH THAT MEANS UNLESS THEY WAS TRAP KIDS (SHE GOT PREGNANT ON PURPOSE TO TRAP THE NIGGA) HE LIKED THE BITCH ENOUGH TO KNOCK HER UP AND SEE IT THROUGH. IF THE NIGGA BOUNCED WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT THEN YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH THE NIGGA CUZ ONLY A DIRTBAG NIGGA WILL BOUNCE ON A PREGNANT BITCH...(UNLESS SHE DID SOME WILD SHIT LIKE GET TRIZZED IN HIS APARTMENT WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT.) SO YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THE BACKSTORY, ASK HIM WHY HE'S NOT WITH HIS BABYMOMS.


ALSO, OLDER NIGGAS ARE THE NIGGAS THAT GET WILD OBSESSED WITH A BITCH. THEY CLOCK IS TICKING AND THEY KNOW THEY AIN'T 25 ANYMORE SO THEY HOLD ON TO BITCHES FOR DEAR LIFE CUZ THE CURVE FOR PUSSY PEAKS FROM 17-30 AND THEN STARTS COMIN DOWN FASTER THAN THE SECOND TOWER. SO IF YOU GET INVOLVED WITH THIS NIGGA AND THEN WANNA PULL THE PLUG GET READY FOR THE NIGGA TO SIT OUTSIDE YOUR CRIB IN HIS CAR AND TRY TO DO THAT PSYCHO-FRIENDLY TALK TO ANY NEW NIGGAS YOU MAY START FUCKIN WITH...HE'LL EXPLAIN TO THEM HOW YOU'RE A CRAZY BITCH AND THEY SHOULDN'T BE FUCKIN WITH YOU, A SEASONED VETERAN LIKE MYSELF CAN SEE THROUGH THIS AND BE LIKE "ITS OK, THE HEAD IS CRAZY TOO SO I'M AIGHT"...BUT SOME YOUNG NIGGA MIGHT BELIEVE HIM AND GET SCARED OFF.


BASICALLY YOU SHOULD NOT FUCK WITH THIS NIGGA IN ANY SERIOUS FASHION. YOU SHOULD DEFINETLY LET HIM BEAT IF YOU LIKE HIM CUZ I'M THE JOHN STOCKTON OF PUSSY B I WILL NEVER HINDER A NIGGA FROM GETTING ASS... SO IF YOU LIKE THE NIGGA ENOUGH TO FUCK HIM THEN LET HIM SMASH BUT LET HIM KNOW NOT TO CHANGE HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS ON FACEBOOK CUZ YOU JUST WANT PP. ALSO, KIDS ARE ANNOYING AS FUCK. ON SOME SINCERE SHIT THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES KIDS NOT ANNOYING IS WHEN THEY'RE YOUR OWN KIDS YOU CAN BE LIKE "I MADE YOU LITTLE NIGGA" AND SOMETIMES THEY DO CUTE THINGS AND THEY COPY YOUR MANNERISMS AND SHIT LIKE THAT, YOU CAN TEACH THEM BAD WORDS AND MAKE THEM SAY IT ON COMMAND SO IT BALANCES OUT WHEN THEY USE KETCHUP TO DRAW PICTURES ON THE COUCH. BUT WHEN THEY AIN'T YOURS AFTER 30 MINUTES YOU WANNA FUCKIN ASSASSINATE THEM. YOU READY TO HAVE A FUCKIN HORNY PRETEEN AND AN ANNOYING TODDLER RUNNING CIRCLES AROUND YOU ON A SATURDAY CUZ HE WANTED YOU TO "MEET HIS KIDS" AKA "BRING THEM EVERYWHERE Y'ALL GO SO HIS LIFE IS EASIER WHEN HE HAS VISITATION."? I DON'T THINK SO. DON'T DO IT TO YOURSELF. YOU GOT THE PUSSY, SO YOU DO THE CHOOSING.

MERO MAILBAG 12/22 "CHEEK MUZIK"

SO YO IM DOIN THIS SHIT WHERE NIGGAS THAT NEED ADVICE CAN GET ADVICE, CUZ IM ALL ABOUT HELPIN THE COMMUNITY. FIGADEALME? (SO YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT AXEDAKID@YAHOO.COM AND ILL DO MY BEST TO ANSWER YOUR QUERY.) WE BOUT TO GO IN THE MAILBAG NO HOMO.




help me out.

i need a track list to play after i take a girl home that will get me laid.

thing is, white girls prefer different music than black girls who prefer different music than mexican girls... and so on.

so, in short, i need a mix that will appeal to all these broads so i can beat some cheeks.

thanks!

I HEAR THAT MY G, YOU GOTTA SET THE MOOD AND WHATNOT...FIRST OFF I GOTTA TELL YOU, UNLESS YOU A YOUNG BUNNER, IF A BITCH COME HOME, SHE GIVIN DOME. IN OTHER WORDS IF YOU GOT HER TO THE CRIB AND ITS NOT UNDER FALSE PRETENSES ON SOME SHIT LIKE "I HAVE DESIGNER WOMENS SHOES FOR SALE OUTTA MY CRIB"...AND IT HAS TO BE SOMETHIN LIKE THAT CUZ EVEN IF YOU TELL A BITCH OVER 17 THAT YOU WANNA DO ANY TYPE OF ACTIVITY (WATCH A MOVIE, LISTEN TO MUSIC, PLAY YAHTZEE) IN YOUR HOUSE SHE SEES RIGHT THROUGH YOUR WEB OF DECEIT B, HORNY NIGGAS HAVE AN AURA THAT ANY BITCH WORTH HER TAMPON CAN SEE, LIKE IN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG WHEN YOU GET THE LIL FORCEFIELD SHIT? MEMBER THAT SHIT? YOU SONIC, AND YOUR HORNINESS IS THE FORCEFIELD AND A BITCH SEES THAT SHIT AND SHE'LL POP IT LIKE "BAONNNGG"...SHE KNOWS YOU TRYNA FUCK AND IF SHE COMES...THEN YOU COMIN, YAO MING? ANYWAY, IMA SUGGEST SOME SHIT JUST CUZ IM NOT A DICKHEAD (MOST OF THE TIME)...BUT IF SHORTY IS IN YOUR CRIB AND DOESN'T KNOW YOUR TRYNA PUT YOUR PP IN HER BAGINA THEN YOU NEED TO GET THAT BITCH OUT THE HOUSE CUZ SHE LIED AND SHE'S 12

IMA GIVE YOU 3 SONGS FOR EACH SPECIES OF BITCHES MY NIGGA CUZ IT SHOULDNT TAKE YOU MORE THAN 15-18 MINUTES TO PUT YOUR FINGER IN SHORTYS BUNGALOW.




WHITE HIPSTER BITCHES

1) ANIMAL COLLECTIVE - SOMETHING BY THESE NIGGAS, I NEVER HEARD THEY SHIT BUT I KNOW ITS HIPSTER EAR FOOD

2) JOURNEY - DONT STOP BELIEVING..THIS IS "IRONIC" AND SHE'LL LAUGH AND FAKE SING AND YOU'LL LAUGH WHILE YOU UNZIP HER PANTS

3) BJORK - ALL IS FULL OF LOVE.. BJORK IS MAD HIPSTER STATUS. WHEN YOU'RE DONE LAUGHING AT JOURNEY THIS WILL COME RIGHT IN TIME FOR YOU TO SEAL THE DEAL AND JUMP IN THAT BOX AND GIVE THE BITCH AN IRONIC MUSTACHE RIDE.

WHITE SUBURB BITCHES

1)PARAMORE - THATS WHAT YOU GET..THIS IS SUBURB EAR FOOD TO THE FULLEST, I ACTUALLY HAD TO CALL A WHITE BITCH TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS SHIT..DURING THE SECOND HOOK MAKE YOUR MOVE MY NIGGA.

2) DEATHCAB FOR CUTIE - I WILL POSSESS YOUR HEART..YOU SHOULD BE EATING THE BITCHES PUSSY BY THE TIME THIS SHIT COMES ON AND THIS FUCKIN SHIT IS 9 MINUTES LONG (GOD DAMN!) SO YOU DONT EVEN NEED A THIRD SONG. IM WARNING YOU THOUGH I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THIS SHIT, ITS WILD EMO MY NIGGA SO THE BITCH MIGHT THINK YOU IN LOVE.

BLACK BITCHES

1) VYBZ KARTEL - RAMPIN SHOP...YOU GOTTA OPEN UP WITH SOMETHIN NOT OD SEXY WITH A BLACK BITCH CUZ SHE'LL BE QUICK TO CALL YOU CORNY AND MAKE YOU EAT THE BOX THEN BREEZE OUTTA THERE AND LEAVE YOU WITH YOUR MOUTH TASTIN LIKE LEVAR BURTON AND FAILURE.

2) CHRIS BROWN - POPPIN...THIS IS ALL PURPOSE RIGHT HERE, ITS A GOOD TRANSITION FROM "MY HAND IS ON YOUR THIGH AND IM TALKIN IN YOUR FACE" INTO "IM BOUT TO START SUCKIN YOUR EARLOBE AND PUT YOUR HAND ON MY DICK BITCH YOU READY?"

3) D'ANGELO - HOW DOES IT FEEL..YOU MIGHT GOTTA PUT A GARBAGE BAG UNDER THE BITCH WHEN THIS COMES ON CUZ THIS IS PANTYDROPPER.MP3

LATINA BITCHES

(TRUTHFULLY IDK SHIT ABOUT MEXICAN BITCHES, PUT ON TELEMUNDO OR SOME SHIT, THIS APPLIES TO RICANS & DOMINICANS, TRY IT ON A MEXICAN BITCH AND LEMME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.)

1) WISIN Y YANDEL - TABLA...THIS IS SOME REGGAETON SHIT, BUT RICANS & DOMINICANS LOVE TO PRETEND THEY AT A PARTY EVEN WHEN THEY NOT SO IF YOU THROW THIS ON SHE'LL START WINDIN AROUND AND YOU GO WITH THE FLOW UNTIL THIS COMES ON

2) WISIN Y YANDEL FEAT ROMEO - NOCHE DE SEXO...FOR YALL NON BILINGUAL NIGGAS THIS TRANSLATES DIRECTLY INTO "SEX NIGHT" YOU CANT GET NO MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD THAN THAT. WHICH IS WHY WE GET ALL THE PUSSY. YOU'RE PROBABLY ALREADY FUCKIN BUT IF YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE THIS CHICK YOU REALLY LIKE HER BEFORE SHE LETS YOU BEAT CHEEKINTONS YOU CAN THROW ON

3)AVENTURA - MI CORAZONCITO...THIS SHIT IS SAPPY BUT IT'LL DO THE JOB.



CHINK BITCHES

ARE BASICALLY WHITE BITCHES OR BLACK BITCHES DEPENDING ON WHERE THEY FROM, YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOU DEALIN WITH AS SOON AS SHE OPENS HER MOUTH THOUGH.

AS FAR AS OTHER BITCHES, IDK WHY THE FUCK YOU WOULD WANNA FUCK AN INDIAN BITCH OR ANY OTHER WEIRD SPECIES OF BITCH? THEY'RE JUST DIFFERENT COLOR WHITE BITCHES. GOOD LUCK MY NIGGA AND FUCK IT, HIT IT RAW BUT YOU GOTTA PULL OUT AT THE FIRST TICKLE OR YOU GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS.