WOW MY NIGGA YOU'RE A DICK.

YOOOOO!!! THIS NIGGA FELL IN THE GAP BETWEEN THE 4 TRAIN AND THE PLATFORM AND GOT SMUSHED BY THE FUCKIN MECHANICAL GAP CLOSER JOINT!!! WOWWW SON, HOW DID YOU DO THAT? THAT'S WHY YOU SUPPOSED TO WATCH YOUR STEP WHEN YOU GET OFF THE FUCKIN TRAIN DICKHEAD. IF YOU WOULDA BEEN PAYIN ATTENTION INSTEAD OF LISTENIN TO THE FUCKIN CORNY ASS BEATLES (I BET MY SON THAT'S WHAT HE WAS LISTENIN TO) YOU WOULDN'T BE STUCK IN THAT METAL THING GETTIN YA RIBS CRUSHED IN HALF. NAHMEAN? YOU WOULDN'T BE SITTIN UP THERE WITH THE "IM SHITTIN A BABY WHALE OUT MY DICKHOLE." FACIAL. NIGGA LOOK LIKE KOBE IN THE FINALS...MY SON STILL GOT HIS IPOD ON THOUGH I BET HE WAS JAMMIN TO THE SHIT WHILE HIS INTERNAL ORGANS WAS GETTIN TURNED INTO CREPES. WHATEVER THIS NIGGA WAS LISTENIN TO I BET ANYTHING WHEN HE COMES OUT BELLEVUE (IF HE DOESN'T DIE LIKE A LIL BITCH) THAT SHIT IS GONNA MAKE HIM HAVE AUTOMATIC PANIC ATTACKS. SUPPOSEDLY THIS NIGGA IS CLINGIN TO LIFE IN THE HOSPI-TEE. OH AND THE POST SAYS HE WAS/IS AN ACTOR. BUT THIS IS NEW YORK CITY NIGGA, EVERYBODY'S A FUCKIN ACTOR. FUCK OUTTA HERE. HIS BIGGEST ROLE SO FAR IS "DICKHEAD NIGGA THAT WAS LISTENIN TO THIS GAY SHIT AND FELL OFF THE TRAIN AND GOT MADE INTO WHITE GUY TOSTONES"

FUNCTIONAL DRUG USERS

YO ONE OF MY NIGGAS IS WHAT SOME PEOPLE CALL A "FUNCTIONAL DRUG USER" IN OTHER WORDS THE NIGGA GOES ABOUT HIS DAILY LIFE WHILE HIGH AND IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. I ASKED THE NIGGA HOW HE DOES IT AND HE WAS JUST LIKE *SHRUG* "I DO"

REALLY? I CAN'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING SMOKE A BLUNT AND EAT 5 STICKS AND A BOTTLE OF PAUL AND GO TO WORK LIKE ITS NOTHIN, MAYBE I'M NOT A MORNING PERSON BUT IF I GET FUCKED UP AS SOON AS I WAKE UP I'M GOIN RIGHT BACK TO BED B. FUCK ALL THAT OTHER SHIT. I CAN'T GET SMACKED AT 6AM B, I GOT SHIT TO DO. NIGGAS BE SMOKIN WEED THAT'S SO HIGH POWERED THE SHIT MAKES ME CROSSEYED THEN THEY GO WORK AT A FUCKIN DAYCARE CENTER HOLDIN 3 WEEK OLD BABIES & SHIT. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME I GOT HIGH AND SAW A BABY? I WAS SITTIN THERE SAYIN "YO THIS NIGGA IS LIKE A SMALL LITTLE HUMAN B!" OVER & OVER IN AMAZEMENT. FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO FACE A BLUNT AND DO WHAT I GOTTA DO THE SHIT GOTTA BE SOME 1997 WEED B. THIS NEW AGE WEED THAT SMELL LIKE PINE NUTS AND CLEARASIL IS ONLY GOOD FOR ME GETTIN SMACKED, IGNORING MY PHONE AND PLAYIN VIDEO GAMES OR WATCHIN LIL B VIDEOS AND LAUGHIN MY EYELASHES OFF.

FORGET PILLS B, MAYBE I CAN EAT A PERC OR 2 AND BE GOOD BUT IMAGINE GOIN TO WORK ON UDD STICKS? NIGGA I WOULD WALK UP IN THAT BITCH 125 MINUTES LATE AND ASK MY BOSS IF SHE FARTED CUZ SOMETHIN SMELLS LIKE SHIT. THEN I WOULD GO TO MY DESK AND WATCH PORN AND BE ON TWITTER ALL DAY WRITIN RECKLESS SHIT ABOUT NIGGAS I WANNA KILL AND OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T WRITE ABOUT AT WORK.

I WORKED AT AN OFFICE JOB AT 3WFC (RIP!) WITH THIS DUDE WHO WAS THERE EVERY DAY AT 5AM DOIN ANTHILLS OF COKE WHEN IT WAS JUST ME AND HIM. I WAS LIKE "YO MY NIGGA I DON'T EVEN WANNA DRINK ORANGE JUICE THIS EARLY CUZ ITS TOO REAL FOR ME, HOW THE FUCK YOU SITTIN HERE BLOWIN POWDER KEGS UP YOUR NASAL LIKE THAT?" DUDE JUST SMILED AND SAID "ITS A PICK ME UP" SO ONE DAY I BROKE NIGHT AND WAS DESTROYED, I TRIED IT AND WAS RUNNIN AROUND MY JOB LIKE A SHREW ON METH MY NIGGA. TAKIN CIGARETTE BREAKS EVERY 10 MINUTES AND TALKIN TO MY BOSS ABOUT HOW I WAS GONNA START MY OWN DESIGN STUDIO AND BE RICH BY 25, AND OTHER ASSORTED COKE DREAMS HE DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT. CUZ YOU KNOW NIGGAS BE HAVIN THOSE COKE DREAMS (REFER TO HOW TO DO DRUGS PT1...OR 2 I DON'T REMEMBER.) WHERE THEY GONNA DO BIG THINGS.

ANYWAY, IF YOU CAN DO MAD DRUGS AND GO TO WORK MORE POWER TO YOU MY BREDREN, CUZ I MOST DEFINETLY CAN'T DO THAT SHIT. I PREFER TO DO MY NARCOTICS AFTER WORK WHILE I WATCH KNICKS GAMES IN MY SNUGGIE GETTIN A BLOWJOB.