THIS SHIT HAD ME CRYING. FOR HOURS.

FIRST OF ALL NIGGAS ARE RAPPIN IN KOREAN, OK, THATS NOT THAT FUNNY WHEN IM SOBER...SO IM SEMI GIGGLIN NO HOMO TILL 0:22. THEN IT WAS A FUCKIN WRAP. I BROUGHT IT BACK 20 TIMES AND I ONLY STOPPED LAUGHIN CUZ I COULDNT BREATHE.


OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

1:30-1:35 DUDE WITH THE AFRO WAS RAPPIN WILD FAST!!! THEN HE COMES OUTTA NOWHERE WITH THAT. COULDNT HANDLE IT. ESPECIALLY SINCE NIGGA WAS RAPPIN OVER "NAS IS LIKE"


3:45-3:55 "HARRANGUNA HARRABAJI GUNA" MUST BE A WILD CRAZY DISS IN KOREA CUZ THIS LIL FAT ASIAN TUPAC WAS LOOKIN MAD SAD AFTER HE SAID THAT...DID HE SAY "ILL KILL YOUR KNEE ON HANNUKAH" ?


YO ON AN UNRELATED NOTE, NIGGAS ARE REALLY SLACKIN ON THE EMAIL TIP!!

HIT ME UP LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU WANNA LEARN ABOUT. IM FOR THE PEOPLE DOGS!!

WHAT THE FUCK DOES "VICTORY LIGHT" MEAN B?

0:35

DONT KNOW HOW MANY OF YALL SEEN THIS BUT FROM A NIGGA THATS NEVER BEEN TO CALI, I WANNA THANK YOU CALI. THIS SHIT WAS ON MY DVR FOR ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR AND ANYTIME I NEEDED TO LAUGH MY ASS OFF I WOULD THROW THIS SHIT ON AND FAST FORWARD TO THE PART WHERE THE CRACKHEAD TAKES A HIT OFF THE GLASS DILZ AND FALLS OFF THE ROOF ONTO THE CAR.

MERO MAILBAG 3/9 "WHAT THESE CRACKHEADS WANT FROM A NIGGA?"

I just moved to NYC and GOT DAMN EVERYBODY GOT THEY FUCKIN HAND OUT! Gettin on the subway feels like being a grandfather with 34 grandkids that u see on ur way to work, all askin for something! do you give money to people beggin on the train? how would you know whether to give someone money or not? is there any type of protocol to follow?




YOU KNOW WHATS ILL? THAT IN OTHER CITIES THERES BUMS ON THE STREET BEGGIN FOR MONEY SOMETIMES, AND MOST OF THE TIME COPS IS LIKE "GET OUTTA HERE YA LOUSY BUM!" AND THEN THEY KICK THEM OUT OF THEY PISSPUDDLE OUTSIDE MCDONALDS. NYC IS THE ONLY PLACE I SEEN COPS STEP OVER BUMS LIKE THEY TRYIN NOT TO STEP IN DOGSHIT. TRUE STORY. UNLESS THE BUM IS DOIN SOME WILD SHIT LIKE JERKIN OFF ON A WHITE GRANDMA OR SHITTING IN THE LOBBY OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, COPS DONT GIVE A FUCK AND KEEP IT MOVIN. IS IT BECAUSE THEY GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY? DONT GIMME THAT, I SEE COPS ALL THE TIME AND THOSE NIGGAS LOOK LIKE ME ON A BLUNT RIDE, JUST SITTIN IN THE CAR LAUGHIN ABOUT SOME DUMB SHIT AND LOOKIN OUT THE WINDOW. IF I GO ON THE SUBWAY AND THERES A NIGGA IN THERE THAT SMELLS SO BAD ITS MAKIN MY NOSEHAIRS GRAY, GET THAT NIGGA OUTTA THERE! THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD DO SOME CATCH & RELEASE SHIT, SNATCH THESE NIGGAS UP, PROVIDE BUMSHOWERS WHERE THEY TAKE THESE NIGGAS HOSE EM DOWN NO HOMO AND GIVE THE NIGGAS A SANDWICH. THEN RELEASE THOSE NIGGAS BACK INTO THE WILDS OF MARCUS GARVEY PARK. MATTERFACT MAKE THAT SHIT A WILDLIFE BUM RESERVATION. NIGGAS CAN EAT PIGEON WINGS AND SQUIRREL STEAKS WITH GRASS SALADS. FUCK YOU THINK I WANNA SEE THIS WALKING DEPRESSION WHEN IM ON THE WAY TO WORK?




ANOTHER THING IS NYC (MANHATTAN MOSTLY, NOW BROOKLYN TOO) IS FULL OF TRANSPLANTS FROM OTHER PLACES, NIGGAS THAT GROW UP IN WISCONSIN AND DON'T SEE BUMS EVERYDAY THINK THE NIGGA WITH THE "I NEED A BEER AND A CIGGARETTE" SIGN IS "AWESOME DUDE!" AND THEY FUCK AROUND AND GIVE THE NIGGA A 5SPOT...ON SOME ENABLING SHIT. (TO COMBAT THIS I WALK AROUND KICKING NIGGAS CHANGE CUPS OVER.) THIS SHIT IS SO KNOWN THAT NIGGAS COME TO NEW YORK WITH NO FUCKIN MONEY LIKE "FUCK IT IMA SIT IN THE SUBWAY AND CAKE OFF" SO YOU GOT TWO DOPE FIENDS FROM SAN FRANCISCO SITTIN ON THE PLATFORM AT CANAL ASKIN FOR MONEY TO BUY DOPE FROM TITO. GET THE FUCK OUT MY FACE NIGGA YOU AINT EVEN GONNA PLAY A GUITAR B? NAH? NO POETRY/BREAKDANCIN? NOTHIN? FUCK YOU MY NIGGA. HOW BOUT THAT? HERE'S A TIP, GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY BEFORE I THROW YOU ON THE TRACKS LIKE QTIP DID TO FAT JOE IN "PRISON SONG"



MY PROTOCOL FOR GIVING BUMS MONEY IS TO NOT GIVE BUMS MONEY. UNLESS I GOT MAD NICKELS & DIMES MAKIN MY JEANS SAG. THEN ILL GIVE A NIGGA 231 CENTS. NIGGAS THINK IM AN ASSHOLE BUT YO I USED TO GIVE BUMS A DOLLAR HERE AND THERE, ONE BUM NIGGA FUCKED IT UP FOR ALL YALL HOMELESSES...ONE DAY I SAW A DUDE ON THE 2TRAIN LOOKIN WILD SICK, I WAS JUST COMIN UPTOWN FROM THE MANHATTAN MALL AND SHIT, FEELIN MAD POSITIVE. HOMIE WAS LIMPIN DOWN THE CAR WITH ALL THE TAPE AND TAGS STILL ON HIM TALKIN ABOUT "I JUST GOT RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL, I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, IM HUNGRY ETC ETC" SO I WAS LIKE "DAMN HOMIE YOU'RE FUCKED UP, HERE'S A DOLLAR SUMTHIN"...THIS SHIT INCREASED MY POSITIVITY LEVEL B, TO GET BACK IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND I HAD TO PUSH A LADY WITH A STROLLER OUTTA MY WAY WHEN I GOT OFF THE TRAIN. FAST FORWARD LIKE A MONTH LATER, THIS TIME IM ON THE 6TRAIN, GOIN DOWNTOWN, AT SOUNDVIEW THIS SAME NIGGA GETS ON WITH THE SAME "I JUST GOT OUT THE HOSPITAL" STORY AND A DIFFERENT OUTFIT (SAME HOSPITAL TAGS THOUGH) TALKIN ABOUT "IVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH HIV"!!! NIGGA I TURNED INTO AN EXCLAMATION POINT!! I WAS LIKE "NIGGA YOU GOT CANCER AND AIDS?! YOU FUCKED UP!!" HE LOOKED AT ME MAD CONFUSED. NIGGAS IS LIARS. YOU AINT GETTIN NONE OF MY BREAD. FUCK UP OUTTA HERE.



OTHER REASONS BUMS AINT GETTIN MONEY.


- YOUR SNEAKERS LOOK FRESHER THAN THE MEXICAN ON HIS WAY TO WORK

- YOU ARE WEARING A LEATHER JACKET

- YOU DONT STINK YET

- YOUR CLOTHES ARE SOMETHING THATS BEEN "IN STYLE" WITHIN THE LAST 5 YEARS

-I OFFER YOU FOOD AND YOU DONT TAKE IT, YOU AINT THAT HUNGRY THEN LIL NIGGA. OR YOU WANT MONEY FOR CRILLZ AND YOU AINT GETTIN IT FROM ME. GO BREAK SOMEBODY CAR WINDOW, GET A GPS OR SUMM



IF YOU FIT ANY OF THESE CRITERIA YOU EITHER GOT SOMEONE ELSE THAT GOT YOU, OR YOU AINT DOIN THAT BAD, SO SHIT NIGGA LET ME HOLD SUMTHIN!!



NOTE: NIGGAS THATS MISSIN ARMS AND LEGS CAN GET SOME CHANGE THOUGH CUZ BEIN A BUM IS BAD ENOUGH, BEIN A BUM THAT CANT EVEN WALK UPTOWN WITHOUT SPINNIN SOME WHEELS IS EXTRA EXTRA ASS. I FEEL FOR YOU DOG HERE'S A SACAGAWEA.

WHITE PEOPLE DISCOVERY GUIDE: PART 1. WHAT DO WHITE PEOPLE EAT?

MY NIGGA T RECENTLY ASKED ME WHAT WHITE PEOPLE EAT, SO I DECIDED TO DO A MULTI-PART "WHITE PEOPLE DISCOVERY GUIDE" FOR YOU NIGGAS THAT DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE. I KNOW YOU'RE PROLLY THINKIN "NIGGA, WHO DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE? MY BOSS/PROFESSOR/LAWYER IS WHITE! I KNOW ALL ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE!" OH WORD? SO THEN TELL ME WHAT HE/SHE HAD FOR LUNCH? YOU CAN'T! AND NEITHER CAN I, BUT I'M GONNA MAKE BROAD STATEMENTS AND BE OD STEREOTYPICAL CUZ NIGGA THAT'S WHAT I DOES.



THERE'S SOME GENERAL RULES WHITE PEOPLE ALWAYS FOLLOW WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD...THEY WONT TOUCH FAST FOOD CUZ THAT SHIT IS WHITE TRASH-ISH. IF ITS POSSIBLE NIGGAS WILL SHOP EXCLUSIVELY AT WHOLE FOODS OR TRADER JOE'S. NIGGAS WILL NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS BUY OFF BRAND SHIT, EVER!!! IF YOU GO INTO A [REAL] WHITE PEOPLE HOUSEHOLD AND THEY HAVE SUPERMARKET BRAND ANYTHING ILL GO TO A KLAN RALLY WITH FLAVOR FLAV AND TAKE FLICKS OF US SITTIN THERE DOIN MATH PROBLEMS. THAT SHIT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. NIGGAS LOOOOVE ORGANIC SHIT B. THEY ALSO LOVE FOREIGN SHIT (MORE ON THIS LATER). BASICALLY I COULD PUT DUTCH GUTS IN A BAG AND WRITE "ORGANIC MALAYSIAN DUTCH GUTS" ON THE SHIT AND IT WOULD SELL OUT AT WHOLE FOODS IN 22 MINUTES. THE MORE FOREIGN THE SHIT IS THE BETTER.



YOU ALREADY KNOW THERE'S [SUPPOSED TO BE] 3 MEALS A DAY, BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER. WHITE PEOPLE LOVE BREAKFAST...SINCE MOST WHITE PEOPLE ARE BUSY WRITING LAWS AND IMPORTANT BOOKS ABOUT THEY LIFE NIGGAS DON'T HAVE TIME TO PUT SHIT IN A SLOW COOKER AND WATCH HBO FOR 6 HOURS WAITIN FOR SOME RIBS TO SOFTEN UP. SO THEY LOVE BREAKFAST CUZ BREAKFAST IS EASY. SOME WHITE PEOPLE LOVE PANCAKES AND EGGS AND SAUSAGE, SOME WHITE PEOPLE ARE VEGETARIAN SO THEY EAT THE SAME SHIT JUST "VEGETARIAN" VERSIONS...PICTURE ME EATIN A VEGETARIAN SAUSAGE (PAUSE), OBAMA WILL SAY "NIGGA" ON TV BEFORE THAT HAPPEN. A WHITE PERSON WILL PUT PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE AND EGGS AND WEIRD GOAT CHEESE STACKED ALL ON A PLATE, AND POUR SYRUP ON IT, THEN THEY WILL DEVOUR THIS DISGUSTING SHIT AND GO PLAY GOLF. THE OTHER TYPE OF WHITE PERSON WILL MEET THEIR FRIENDS AT AN OUTDOOR CAFE AND HAVE $15 COFFEE AND A $20 BAGEL WITH EXOTIC ORGANIC TROUT SEMEN SPREAD, FOLLOWED BY MIMOSAS...NIGGAS WILL PROLLY TALK ABOUT ART OR SOME TYPE OF VACATION THEY FINNA GO ON TO A PLACE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO VACATION AT. "WE'RE GOING HIKING IN RWANDA!".



MOST WHITE PEOPLE WORK IN AN OFFICE FOR A COMPANY THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING EXPLAINABLE IN REGULAR WORDS BUT HAS TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS. SO THEY EAT LUNCH "IN THE OFFICE" CUZ THEY GOT IMPORTANT NONSHIT TO DO. SO FOR LUNCH THEY WILL HAVE A VEGAN CHAI SOY SMOOTHIE LOWFAT LATTE WITH AN ORGANIC FLAX SEED WHEAT GERM PROTEIN ACTIVITY BAR...OR A SANDWICH FROM THE DELI AROUND THE CORNER...THERES A DELI DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET BUT WHITE PEOPLE WILL GO AROUND THE CORNER BECAUSE THE SANDWICHES ARE "WAY BETTER" EVEN THOUGH ITS THE SAME SANDWICH PREPARED BY THE SAME MEXICAN. LUNCH IS NOT A BIG DEAL TO WHITE PEOPLE BUT THE NIGGAS WILL COMPLAIN IF ITS CUT SHORT. LUNCHTIME IS ALSO THE ONLY TIME ITS OK FOR A WHITE GUY TO EAT MCDONALDS, "OH YEAH DUDE, ITS TOTALLY GROSS AND SO MANY CALORIES BUT IM PRESSED FOR TIME I HAVE TO FINISH THIS PROPOSAL SO IM JUST GONNA WOLF THIS DOWN TO TIDE ME OVER TILL DINNER, I FOUND THIS GREAT INDIAN PLACE!! AT THIS POINT IM RUNNING ON FUMES!! HAHA!! ALRIGHT HAVE A GOOD ONE!!"



FOR DINNER WHITE PEOPLE WILL EAT YOUR FOOD...YOU PROLLY SAYIN "WHAT YOU MEAN MERO? WHITE PEOPLE WILL SLASH MY FACE FOR DINNER? THAT DONT EVEN MAKE SENSE MY G." OR IF YOU TAKE THE SLANG DOWN TO LEVEL 5 YOUR SAYIN "WHAT YOU MEAN MERO? WHITE PEOPLE WILL EAT MY DINNER FOR DINNER?"...WHAT I MEAN IS, US NONWHITE PEOPLE ARE A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION FOR WHITE PEOPLE, CULINARILY SPEAKING. IF YOU'RE FROM SOME EXOTIC COUNRTY THEN YOU CAN OPEN A RESTAURANT AND THAT SHIT WILL BE CRAWLING WITH WHITE PEOPLE WITHIN HOURS OF YOU OPENING THE SHIT. MATTERFACT IF I WAS RICH I WOULD MAKE UP A FAKE COUNTRY, NAME IT BILKANAWANJA, OPEN UP A RESTAURANT, NAME IT "NAWANJA", AND SPECIALIZE IN BILKANAWANJANESE FOOD. I'LL JUST SERVE MY LEFTOVERS TOSSED WITH DUTCH GUTS ON FANCY PLATES AND HAVE FOREIGN LOOKING WAITERS THAT WILL GIVE YOU A POLITE CHUCKLE WHEN YOU PRONOUNCE THE FAKE NAMES OF THE FAKE FOOD WRONG. BUT NIGGA IF I AINT RICH WITHIN 4 MONTHS YOU CAN WRITE ME AN ANGRY EMAIL ABOUT HOW MY BLOG IS MAD DECEPTIVE.



OTHER RANDOM WHITE PEOPLE FOODS/DRINKS:

-WINE. WHITE PEOPLE LOVE WINE MORE THAN BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR COLLEGE B! THEY'LL TELL YOU THEY FOUND A GREAT WINE AND BRING IT TO YOUR CRIB AND ACT LIKE THEY PUT YOU ON TO SOME WILD EXCLUSIVE TYPE SHIT. THEN YOU'LL DRINK THE WINE, BE LIKE "NIGGA THIS SHIT TASTE LIKE WINE". WHITE PEOPLE WILL SMELL THE SHIT, SWIRL THE SHIT IN THE GLASS, SWISH IT AROUND THEY MOUTH, ALL THAT. LIKE THERES AN ANSWER TO LIFE IN THE SHIT AND THEY TASTE BUDS ARE MAGIC CODEBREAKERS. SHIT IS ROTTEN GRAPES NIGGA. GIMME A BREAK.

-TEA. THE NON COFFEE DRINKING WHITE PEOPLE DRINK SO MUCH TEA THEY MAKE BRITISH PEOPLE SAY "DAMN YOU NIGGAS [BLOKES] DRINK ALOT OF TEA" IN THE WHITE PEOPLE G POINTS SYSTEM HAVING A LITTLE TEA BALL AND PUTTING LOOSE TEA IN IT IS LIKE HITTING A WALKOFF GRANDSLAM IN THE WORLD SERIES, SHIT IS THE PINNACLE.

-MEATLOAF. I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS SHIT LIKE THAT BUT I HEARD WHITE NIGGAS LOVE MEATLOAF NO HOMO. CANT GET TOO MUCH MORE IN DEPTH WITH THAT, ITS LIKE A LEGEND. I NEVER SEENT IT. I HEARD THEY PUT KETCHUP ON IT TOO THO.

-CHEESE. IF YOU EVER FUCK A WHITE GIRL AND SHE STAYS OVER YOUR CRIB AND WANTS TO MAKE BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING, ASK HER TO MAKE AN OMELET AND HAVE SOME CRAZY BRAZILIAN WHALE MILK CHEESE IN YOUR FRIDGE AND ASK HER TO USE THAT, SHE'LL BE SO IMPRESSED SHE'LL SUCK YOUR DICK AFTER SHE MAKES THE OMELET AND YOU THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE BECAUSE AUSTRALIAN WOMBAT MILK CHEESE IS NOT YOUR SPEED.

-SOY!! YO IN SPANISH, SOY MEANS "AM" AS IN "I AM" THIS SHIT IS PERFECT BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE ARE SOY! THEY MADE OUT OF SOY AND TOFU MY NIGGA ASK MORGAN FREEMAN, HE KNOW. NIGGAS WILL EAT SOY ANYTHING. NIGGAS WILL EAT SOYBEANS DUG RIGHT OUT THE DIRT. TRY IT, TELL A WHITE NIGGA YOU HAVE SOMETHING MADE OUT OF SOY. I BET YOU MY CABLE BOX NIGGAS WILL BE LIKE "CAN I TRY SOME?" AND THEN ASK WHERE YOU GOT IT EVEN IF ITS SOY WALLABY SHIT. LONG AS ITS ORGANIC ITS GOOD $.



PRINT THIS OUT AND CARRY IT WITH YOU. YOU'LL NEVER FAIL IN A WHITE PEOPLE DIET DISCUSSION B. I PROMISE. NEXT PART OF THE WHITE PEOPLE DISCOVERY GUIDE IS ON DECK STAY TIDDUNED MY NIGGAS!

MERO MAILBAG 2/22 "YOU DOWN WIT O.P.P?"

HI HATERS IM BACK OFF HIATUS! I WAS TAKIN A BREAK LIL NIGGAS BUT IM BACK!




Mero,

What would you do if you were me? From time to time I end up smashing married broads, usually more than once, sometimes on a semi-regular basis. One time with this Spanish chick, the shit was popping for the better half of a year on at least weekly basis. This situation has arisen once again with a bird Ive known since '96. Should I feel bad? Im leaning towards no. The way I see it, the bitches chose me. I didn't make them want to fuck me, they were doing them and I was doing me. This time around shorty wants out of her marriage. She used to have a thing for me. I don't have feelings for any of these bitches, just trying to get my dick wet. In other words, this isn't about relationship advice. I know that keeping shit on the hush hush weighs more on her. This one does a good job of deleting texts, etc. Her man lets her go out and be back by a certain time. Hubs doesn't know me, where I live, work, etc. Is this ever a good look if done correctly?



MY NIGGA IF YOU SINGLE AND YOU TRYNA SWIM IN BAGINA THEN THIS IS THE ILL LOVELY SCENARIO. YOU BASICALLY GOT PUSSY ON DEMAND AND THERES NONE OF THE OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES OF HAVIN A GIRL LIKE HAVIN DINNER WITH HER MOM OR LISTENIN TO HER SAY WORDS IN SENTENCES THAT YOU GOTTA REMEMBER AND SHIT LIKE THAT. MARRIED BITCHES ARE A GOOD LOOK FOR THAT CUZ THEY ALREADY MARRIED SO THEY AINT TRYING TO MARRY YOU AND THEY GOT SHIT SO THEY CAN GIVE YOU SHIT. PLUS MARRIED BROADS AINT ALL IN YOUR BUSINESS...NOT TO MENTION THEY USUALLY THE FREAKIEST CUZ THEY HUSBAND IS GIVIN HER 2 HUMPS LIKE CAMELS AND THEN ROLLIN OVER AND WATCHIN TOP 10 PLAYS OF THE WEEK. MEANWHILE THIS BITCH WANNA GET HER SHIT POUNDED AND THEN LAY ON HIS CHEST TWIRLIN HIS DICK AROUND LIKE A PINWHEEL. HE DON'T DO THAT, BUT YOU DO IT SO SHE'S SUCKIN YOUR DICK RIGHT NOW IN KMART BATHROOM WHEN SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKIN FOR NEW PILLOWCASES. THIS SHIT IS GOOD $ RIGHT?



UNLESS YOU OR HER STARTS CATCHING FEELINGS, THEN ITS A WRAP, AND IF THIS BITCH LEAVES HER HUSBAND...YOU BECOME THE HUSBAND...THE SHERM NIGGA THATS BORED WITH THE PUSSY AND WOULD RATHER PLAY HALO THAN FUCK THE BITCH. WHAT I WOULD DO IS IF THIS STARTS TO HAPPEN, DONT FALL INTO IT JUST TO KEEP HITTIN IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO DROP LBOMBS TO KEEP FUCKIN THE BITCH AND YOU DONT NEED TO GO ON DATES AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT CUZ THAT JUST LEADS TO THE INEVITABLE...ALL YOUR DATES SHOULD CONSIST OF YOU OPENING THE DOOR AND HER OPENING HER MOUTH, THEN YOU PUT YOUR BEEF ON THE TEEF, YOU FEEL ME? NO DRASTIC MEASURES, YOU CAN SAVE THE WHOLE SHIT BY PUTTIN IT ON YASELF LIKE "NAH MA, I LIKE YOU ALOT, AND THAT PUSSY IS BETTER THAN A BLOWJOB MADE OUT OF WINNING LOTTO TICKETS...BUT IM NOT THE BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND TYPE, I'D DISSAPOINT YOU, IM A SCUMBAG NIGGA." THAT WAY SHE FEELS LIKE YOU LOOKIN OUT...BUT STILL FEELS LIKE THE PUSSY GOT YOU HYPE WILLIAMS. WIN WIN.



AS FAR AS THE HUSBAND...IF SHE GETS PINCHED, DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS NIGGA, DENY THE SHIT. HAVE A GIRL ON DECK AS YOUR PRETEND WIFEY. FIGHTING THIS NIGGA OR GETTING INTO BEEF WITH THIS NIGGA WILL MAKE HIS BITCH MAD AT HIM AND THEN SHE'LL COME CRYIN TO YOU AND BE ALL UP IN YOUR SITUATION LIKE BITCH WASSUP. YOU DONT WANT THAT, YOU WANNA DIAL A NUMBER AND IN 20 MINUTES BE GETTIN YOUR DICK SUCKED LISTENIN TO THIS.

MERO MAILBAG 2/8 "BMz AINT SHIT BUT AN EBT TRICK"

my mans BM is a fuckin lame... if i didnt love and respect my man so much, I woulda beeeeeeeen put my hands on this bitch..... shes pushing my buttons tho... i wanna push them back without her taking him to court 4 child support(cuz shes one of those!!!) anything i can do?




DAMN MA, NIGGAS ON MY TWITTER KNOW THE DEAL WITH BABY MOMZES, THEY TUMORS B, ITS JUST UP TO YOU WHETHER THEY MALIGNANT OR BENIGN. UNFORTUNATELY YOUR MAN IMPREGNATED A PENGUIN (A BIRD THATS NOT FLY). FORTUNATELY HE LEFT THE BITCH, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE BITCH IS GONNA BE AROUND AS LONG AS SEINFELD RERUNS BECAUSE THATS WHAT BABY MOMMAS DO B THEY HAVE AN EXPONENTIAL HALF LIFE...IF NIGGAS DROP A NUCLEAR BOMB EVERYWHERE AND DESTROY THE WHOLE EARTH THERE WOULD ONLY BE ROACHES AND BMz LEFT.


EVEN IF SHE HAS A NEW MAN SHE'LL STILL BE SUCKIN THIS NIGGA BECAUSE SHE'S A MISERABLE SLOB WITH C-SECTION SCARS AND HE'S CHILLIN WITH NO STRETCHMARKS, A NEW SHORTY, AND IN A WAY, MUCH LESS RESPONSIBILITY. THIS MAKES HER EXTREMELY ANGRY AND WHEN MOST BMz GET ANGRY THEY GO INTO TODDLER MODE AND START PRANK CALLIN AND STALKIN AND NOW WITH THE INTERNET THEY DO ALL TYPES OF WILD SHIT ON MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER. BUT WHAT IMA SAY TO YOU IS THIS, FUCK IT!!! REALLY, THIS IS A LOSE-LOSE MY NIGGA BECAUSE BOOM LOOK, IF YOU BEAT MALT LIQUOR OUT THIS BITCH SHE'LL TAKE THIS NIGGA TO COURT AND START SOME ILL DRAMA AND YALL GONNA BE GOIN BACK AND FORTH UNTIL THE SHIT IS ON WORLDSTARHIPHOP, AND IF YOU DONT SHE'LL KEEP PUSHIN YOUR BUTTONS AND INTERFERING IN YOUR LIFE.


SOMETIMES THOUGH YOU GOTTA MAKE THE BEST OUT OF A SITUATION AND OUTJUVENILE A BITCH...MEANING IF SHE PRANK CALLS YOU, PICK UP AND BE LIKE AHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU SICK NIGGA AHHHH!!!!!! YOU MAD? YOU MAAAAAAAD!!! MAD LOUD TILL SHE HANGS UP, OR DO THE OLD CHATLINE SHIT AND JUST BLOW INTO THE PHONE TILL SHE REALIZES THE SHIT IS FUN FOR YOU, NOT BOTHERSOME (EVEN IF IT IS). IF SHE COMES BY THROW A GLASS OF COLD ASS WATER IN HER GRILLATIN THEN SLAM THE DOOR IN HER FACE. SHE WONT DO SHIT. BMz TALK A GOOD GAME BUT NOBODY GOT A BMz BACK EXCEPT ANOTHER BM, SO ITS NOT LIKE THIS BITCH CAN GET YOU JUMPED OR SOMETHING...BMz ARE MAD LAZY AND SMOKE MAD NEWPORTS SO THEY CANT FIGHT OR RUN OR BE PHYSICAL AT ALL UNLESS BY PHYSICAL YOU MEAN SUCKIN DICK.


SO MY ADVICE IN A NUTSHELL IS DONT SWEAT THIS BITCH, LET HER SWEAT YOU CUZ SHE'S AT HOME WITH A BUNCHA KIDS AND SOME SAD NEXT NIGGA HEATIN UP CHEF BOYARDEE (WITH THE CAN ON THE STOVE, REAL BROKELIKE) WHILE YOU AT HOME EATIN SUSHI PLAYIN WIT YA COOCHIE. YOU ALREADY KNOW, THE BEST REVENGE IS SUCCESS!!

MERO MAILBAG 2/1 "LIVIIIIIIIING SINGOOOOOO"

MEMBER THAT SHOW? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TOOTIE B? AND THE NIGGA WITH THE BABY DREADS ALWAYS STRUCK ME AS MAD GAYISH, IS HE MO, OR BRITISH? GOOGLE THAT FOR ME. ANYWAY...



"i just finished school last year and i wana move out with a homie. what are some absolute necessities we need to have in the household excluding my xbox 360 and his fridge."




YOU NOT GIVING ME ALOTTA DETAILS 5, BUT I'LL ASSUME ITS JUST YOU AND YOUR HOMEBOY. IMA TELL YOU SOMETHING OFF TOP, ITS NOT GONNA JUST BE YOU AND YOUR HOMEBOY. EVER...IF YOU'RE 25 & UNDER (OR 30 & UNDER DEPENDING ON YOUR EDUCATIONAL/JOB STATUS) NIGGAS WILL BE SLIDIN UNDER YOUR DOOR 24/7 LIKE CHINESE FOOD MENUS. KNOCKIN ON YOUR DOOR MAD DRUNK OR MAD HIGH OR LYIN LIKE "I WAS JUST AROUND MAN, WHATS UP?" WHEN IN REALITY THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO CRASH TO SMOKE WEED AND KILL A COUPLE HOURS SO THEY WERE LIKE "YO THIS GUY IS PROBABLY HOME LETS JUST GO OVER THERE."...SHIT WILL GET ON YOUR NERVES AND YOU GOTTA DECIDE WHO'S GONNA BE "THE DICK" THAT HAS TO KICK NIGGAS OUT WHEN ITS TIME TO GO. THERE'S PROS THOUGH, IF YOUR HOMEBOY ISN'T A FUCKIN HERB WILLIAMS THEN THAT'S DOUBLE THE FEMALE INTAKE AND ALSO A WINGMAN TO ENTERTAIN THE FAT BITCH WHILE YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM WITH THE DOPE BITCH GETTIN TOP WITH THE DOOR OPEN LIKE "WUZHANNINNN!!" WITH A "MONK" RERUN PLAYIN ON THE TV. BUT YO, BACK TO THE POINT, WHICH IS "ESSENTIALS".



IMA GIVE YOU A LIST, I'LL ADD MORE IF I REMEMBER MORE BUT FOR NOW THIS IS WHAT I GOT FOR YOU LIL HOMIE.



- A BIG ASS HAMPER...IM TALKIN ABOUT BIG NIGGA, CUZ NIGGAS ARE DIRTBAGS AND WILL TAKE OFF SOCKS AND THROW THEM SHITS ON THE FLOOR AND WIPE THEY DICK WITH A WHITE TEE AFTER THEY FUCK A BITCH AND USE THAT SAME WHITE TEE TO WIPE DOWN THE COUNTER THEN THROW THAT SHIT IN A CORNER...HAVE A BIG ASS HAMPER SO NIGGAS DONT DO THIS. TRUST ME B, BITCHES DON'T WANNA SEE A WHITE TEE WITH SMEGMA AND KETCHUP SITTIN NEXT TO THE COUCH. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SMELLS LIKE 5? THE SHIT SMELLS LIKE WHEN YOU PEED ON YASELF IN KINDYGARDEN AND DIDNT WANNA TELL NOBODY CUZ YOU WAS ON A CLASS TRIP SO YOU WRAPPED YOUR SWEATER AROUND YOUR WAIST AND ROCKED LIKE THAT THE WHOLE DAY THEN YOU GOT HOME AND HID IT CUZ YOU AINT WANT YOUR POPS TO KNOW YOU DID PP ON YASELF.



- A BIG ASS TV...IF YOU DON'T SPLURGE ON NOTHING ELSE SPLURGE ON THIS B. A BIG ASS TV IS MAD CRUCIAL MY NIGGA CUZ WHEN NIGGAS ARE OVER (AND THEY'LL BE OVER) YOU DON'T WANT 20 NIGGAS CROWDED AROUND A TV THE SIZE OF A NIKE BOX. THAT SHIT IS MAD UNCOMFORTABLE AND LEADS TO FIGHTS AND SHIT B TRUST ME.



- A VACUUM...YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS TO SWEEP UP BLUNT ASHES AND CIGGARETTE BUTTS AND BOTTLE CAPS AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT? ESPECIALLY IF YOU GOT A RUG. YOU NEED A VACUUM MY NIGGA, A HEAVY DUTY ONE THAT CAN SUCK SHIT UP NO HOMO AND NOT EXPLODE, CUZ YOU'LL BE VACUUMING UP SHIT YOU SHOULDN'T.



-A BIG ASS BROWN AREA RUG TO PUT UNDER WHEREVER THE DRINKIN/SMOKIN/NONSENSE IS GONNA BE HAPPENING...YOU GONNA SPILL MAD AMOUNTS OF SHIT MY MAN, TRUST ME, BEERS, ASHTRAYS, BEERS BEING USED AS ASHTRAYS, FOOD, VAGINA FLUIDS, AND MAD OTHER SHIT. A BROWN RUG ENSURES THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOP TO KEEP THE FLOOR FROM GETTIN STICKY AND NASTY, AND SINCE ITS BROWN EVEN IF YOUR ROOMMATES GIRL COME THROUGH MAD DRUNK AND TAKES THE ILL BEER SHIT ON THE RUG YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIND THAT SHIT IF YOU HAD A STUFFY NOSE. JUST DON'T WALK BAREFOOT/IN SOCKS ON THE SHIT CUZ THEN YOUR GUESTS WILL KNOW YOU'RE A DIRTY NIGGA. WHEN IT GETS TOO CRAZY STEAM CLEAN THE SHIT AND START OVER.



-A STRIPPER/PRO THAT RENTS A ROOM SOMEWHERE AND HATES IT...I WAS SHARING AN APT WITH ONE OF MY NIGGAS AND WE HAD A BITCH WHO WOULD COME THROUGH AND CLEAN AND ORGANIZE THE CRIB JUST TO HAVE A PLACE TO KICK IT WITH NIGGAS. SHORTY WOULD COME THROUGH, CLEAN THE WHOLE CRIB AFTER WE TURNED THE SHIT INTO PORT AU PRINCE AND JUST HANG AROUND BEING A FEMALE. ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE A BITCH AROUND B, JUST BEING THERE, THEY LIKE SCENTED CANDLES MY NIGGA, MAD SOOTHING AND SOMETIMES THEY SAY DUMB SHIT THAT YALL CAN LAUGH ABOUT AFTER SHE LEAVES. (NOTE: THIS IS IF SHE'S COOL, IF SHE'S A BITCH THEN FUCK THE DOOR SHOW THAT BITCH THE INCINERATOR CHUTE.)



-BITCHES IN GENERAL...LIKE I SAID YO ITS GOOD TO HAVE BITCHES AROUND, EVEN IF THEY NOT HOOKERS. THEY DO STUFF LIKE MAKE FOOD AND GIVE TOP, THEY ALSO BREAK UP THE MONOTONY OF HAVING A BUNCH OF DICKS IN A ROOM TALKIN SHIT. IF YOU GOT BITCHES ON DECK HAVE THEM COME TO YOUR CRIB MY G, REGULARLY, IF THEY ENJOY THEYSELF THEN THAT'S GOOD FOR THEM AND GREAT FOR YOU CUZ THEY'LL BRING FRIENDS AND IF THE ORIGINAL FEMALE AINT FUCKIN YOU I BET ONE OF HER FRIENDS WILL. ALSO FEMALES ARE GOOD TO HAVE AROUND IF YOU WANNA KICK NIGGAS OUT YOU CAN PRETEND LIKE YOU BOUT TO SMASH AND NEED TO SMASH ON THE COUCH CUZ YOUR ROOMMATE SPILLED OLIVE OIL ON YOUR MATTRESS.



-A BONG...IF YOU NIGGAS ARE SMOKIN WEED YOU NEED THIS B, I KNOW BONGS ARE MAD WHITEBOY COLLEGE STATUS BUT NIGGAS DON'T ALWAYS WANNA GO TO THE STORE FOR DUTCHES B, AND SOMETIMES NIGGAS COME THROUGH WITH LARGE AMMOUNTS OF SOME "EHH" WEED WHERE A DUTCH IS POINTLESS. SO YOU GONNA NEED THAT BONG FOR THE SHIT TO HIT YOUR CHEST PAUSE.



THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW MY NIGGA, ALL THIS SHIT I JUST PUT UP IS "MUST HAVE DO OR DIE", IF YOU MISS EVEN ONE OF THOSE THINGS THE CHAIN REACTION COULD BE FATAL AND LEAVE YOU SANS PUSSY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (IN THAT CRIB)...IF ANY OF YALL NIGGAS SEE ANYTHING I MISSED, THERES COMMENTS RIGHT DOWN THERE v HOLLA AT THE KID!!!